


After Episode 10

by Abravegirl



Category: Ramon and Henry - Here and Now
Genre: HBO’s Here and Now, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-04-25 12:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14379060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abravegirl/pseuds/Abravegirl
Summary: This is the imagined continuation of the Ramon-Henry relationship following S1 of HBO’s Here and Now.  When I started writing, it was unclear if the show would renew for season 2.  We now know the show is cancelled.  I can’t help but wonder what the show’s creator, Alan Ball, had in store for these two.





	1. Chapter 1

Nineteen nights. I haven’t had a decent night of sleep in nineteen out of twenty-one nights. Yet again, I tackle another day ending in y with reddened, tired eyes; my hair matted from tossing and turning in bed. Smoking more pot than ever just to lull myself into melancholy. I stay up late working on the game and still, I fail to make it to morning without interruption. I wake up startled and frequently breathless after another encounter with Henry in my dreams. 

Shokrani says the Seroquel should be helping. It’s not. I miss Henry, or whatever his name is, more with each passing day. Memories supposedly fade. Not these. His absence makes my longing grow stronger. I deny his importance when I’m awake. Scold myself for letting my mind drift to thoughts of him. In my subconscious, I have much less power. He haunts me nearly every night. By now, I think I’d be sad if he didn’t come to me in my dreams. 

“That’s sick,” I tell myself. Like I don’t have enough problems conjuring visions only I can see? Now, I’m disappointed if my lying ex-boyfriend doesn’t disturb my sleep pattern? I couldn’t shake the curiosity of who he was. We’d become familiar, no doubt. I certainly wouldn’t say I knew Henry, though. 

After meeting him at Spin, I couldn’t believe how quickly he became an integral part of my life. Sure, a little flirting over a few weeks was fun. It could’ve gone on forever. I just loved talking to him and sharing little stories about my life to his undivided attention. His interest in me only spurred my interest in him. His focused attention intoxicated me. He seemed so out of my league. I found myself washing laundry and drinking coffee way more than I really needed just for another shot at the smoldering barista. 

The day he so forwardly asked what I was doing that night, I let him invite himself into my world without any protest at all simply because i couldn’t believe he was happening to me. I busied myself over the afternoon at the gym and returning home to shower and dress and nervously get back just in time to meet him after 5p. His confidence beamed as he spontaneously kissed me the first time with the warmth and depth people earn with time and intimacy. His immediate physical closeness turned me on and comforted me at the same time. He shielded me and enveloped me in a way I absolutely came to depend on when the hallucinations started coming to me with increasing intensity. Amongst all my loved ones, I reached for Henry’s comfort.

A week later, when Henry told me he was with me because that’s where he felt he needed to be, again his confidence and assertion only drew me closer. His gaze delving into my soul, I felt nothing but veracity when we shared these moments. We bonded so quickly and tightly because we spent so much time together, just us. It was easy and I didn’t want it to stop. I wanted him.

“Be careful what you wish for,” he warned.  
Reality smacked me in the face and punched me in the gut the day Kristen showed me the tape of him emerging from the tent with the other guy. The house of cards we built toppled in front of me as all the pieces of the truth fell into place. I didn’t see it because I didn’t want to see it. Five weeks together and now, a month apart. My heart remains fractured. Random hook-ups do nothing to help me leave him in the past.

The door buzzes and jolts me back to the present moment. Since Henry Bergen too stole my bicycle last week, dad drives me to school and other distant places I need to go. He could’ve bought a new bike for me instead. No, I think driving carpool gives him purpose. He’s still so lost and depressed. So, off to campus we go. Me, running from the pain of the past. Him running toward the best moments he ever lived in the past.


	2. Chapter 2

Dad dropped me at home from a complete waste of time session with Shokrani. He looked ill, sweating and pale. He was daydreaming. His questions didn’t make sense. I didn’t get anything out it.  
“My therapy is the game,” I told myself as I settled at home trying to advance through the next level of code. Before I knew it, the clock struck midnight and again, I contemplated another battle in bed to find sleep. Maybe, I should take a walk? Try to clear my head and then sleep. It couldn’t make things worse, right?  
I shrugged into some layers and headed out.  
“Jesus!” I jumped as I opened the door. My bike found it’s way back to me and rested against the wall in the hallway. Henry sat on the floor next to it, head resting like the bike, hands on his bent knees, like he just stopped, slid down the wall, and stayed like that.  
My heart throttled in my chest and I felt lightheaded.  
“What are you doing here?” I questioned.  
“This is yours. I brought it back to you.” Henry replied quietly. He couldn’t even make eye contact with me. He looked worn, tired. Not the smiling, vibrant guy whose piercing blue eyes captured me the first day I met him at Spin.  
“Thanks. I never expected to see it again. Your friend in the tent bike-jacked me.”  
“I know. I recognized it as yours immediately. When I asked where he got it, he described you as the person riding it. I would’ve brought it back sooner but, he kept a close eye on it and I couldn’t get it away from him. Maybe I could’ve tried harder. I didn’t know what you’d do when I got here. I hoped you were asleep. I needed somewhere quiet and spending the night in this hallway seemed perfect. In the morning, I would go.”  
“Do you want to come in?”  
“Yes. But, I won’t.”  
“Ah, man, c’mon. I’m stoked to get my bike back. Come in.”  
“I want to but, I stink. I can’t. I accomplished what I came to do,” he said more dejected than successful as he stands. 

I know this look. It’s rare. I saw it the day I confronted Henry at Spin. The day I exposed his cheating. Weakened. Sheepish. Embarrassed. This isn’t the Henry I know. His confidence is gone. He barely looks me in the eye. I hate it. I’m so sad to see him in this way. He appears not to have showered in days. His hair is limp and greasy. His shoulders rounded, hands stuffed in his pockets.

Just weeks ago, life was good. I was really happy to have him in my life. We matched well. We fit together like binary. We didn’t label it, we didn’t analyze it. He was with me. And I was with him. Every day and every night. Safe. Comfortable. And then, it just combusted and I was alone wondering what the fuck happened. I never saw any of it coming.

I played those few weeks on repeat in my mind. Scrutinized every detail. What did I miss? How could I let him get so close when obviously he just wanted me for my roof and plumbing? But, that’s just the thing. He wasn’t like that. Henry is warm, and kind, and genuine. If he was only here for the basics of life, he wouldn’t have to stay all the time. He didn’t have to make me feel so wanted. He didn’t have to be so good in bed. He’s tender, and generous, and attentive as a lover. He didn’t have to make me fall in love with him. But, I did. The night I told him I loved him, I just couldn’t keep it inside any longer. My heart swelled and I thought it would burst out of my chest. I’ll never forget his face that night. He broadcast a dozen emotions. We came together for a deep kiss and then another chance to worship each other’s body. He replied to my sentiment. He just didn’t use words. 

And then, it turned out I didn’t know him at all. I felt so bad after the confrontation. Stupidly, I focused on not scaring him off. My behavior blinded me to him and his motives. And, in the heat of the moment, I beat him down with accusations and turned my back in disgust. If I’m honest with myself, I knew he kept secrets. I tried prying them out of him since the first time we were alone together. Over and over I saw how guarded he lived. He changed the subject or just refused to answer letting the question fade away into the silence between us. Something happened to him earlier in life and he’s living every day to forget. 

I looked at him for a long time. And then, without warning, I stepped forward and took him into my arms. All those times he supported me, I couldn’t just close the door now. Initially, he stiffened. Then he melted in my arms. He pulled his hands from his pockets and embraced me in return. We stood there for a long time. Then, I shuffled backwards into the apartment, not leaving him a chance to stay behind or say no. He gave me solace and strength before I knew I needed it. He needs me now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read my work. I’ve just learned despite my best hope, HBO decided to cancel Here and Now after the first season. There will be no more material from the creators. I doubt it will be picked up by another network. I so wanted to hear from Alan Ball the continuing stories of these characters. Now, they will live on only in our creative minds. 
> 
> Thank you for the encouraging comments. I hope you enjoy where this story is going.

We stood just a few steps inside the apartment continuing our embrace. With the recent distance between us, the contact between our bodies became awkward. I freed myself from our entwined bodies. Stepping back, I invited Henry to sit down. Slipping into my modest kitchen, I returned with a glass of water and a strawberry Go-gurt.  
“Nah, man. I’m fine,” he balked at my offering holding up a refusing hand.  
“I know you like it. Just take it,” I said leaving no room for refusal.  
Henry relented and accepted. As he did, I turned and crossed the floor into the bathroom. I took fresh towels from the storage cabinet and set them on the sink. Quickly, I surveyed for soap, shampoo, and other personal products. I even put out my extra toothbrush from my last check-up. Everything he needed to feel human again present.  
I returned to the main room. Henry’s blue eyes met mine as he slurped his snack. Then, more uncomfortable silence between us. That’s weird. It’s never been awkward between us. We carried on easy conversation, bantering about everything and nothing over those first few weeks slowly getting to know each other. I sat down at my desk and turned my chair to face him.  
He finished the last of his snack and crumbled the wrapper. His eyes darted around looking for an escape. Then, his gaze settled on the bed. The bed that was ours for those short five weeks. We spent a lot of time there learning and loving. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, brushing back the long tendrils of hair covering his forehead. The ragged days he’s living began to show again. The lack of rest leaving lines on his face, heavy eyes, gaunt cheeks. He pushed himself out of the chair and rose to his feet. I stood, too.  
“I gotta go, man,” Henry asserted. I reached out and just grabbed his left wrist. He tightened his fist and stopped in his tracks.  
“Let me go, Ramon.” I tugged at him and held his wrist in both my hands.  
“If you want to go, that’s fine. But, just take a shower first. You wreak”. I pulled him in my direction toward the bathroom.  
“No, I don’t need your help. I don’t want you to berate me for coming here just to use you for your plumbing.”  
“I don’t think that’s why you came here. I really appreciate you returning my bike. C’mon.”  
He smirked, and then went inside. He pushed the door closed and soon started the shower. I went to my closet and grabbed fresh underwear, some sweat pants, and a T-shirt. After the shower curtain scraped open and closed on the rod, I carefully opened the door and set the clothes on the toilet.  
While I waited for Henry to finish, I sat down and wrote a few lines of code to advance the next level of the game. Clicking the keys and cleaning up some graphics, I didn’t hear the water turn off, or the toilet flush, or the swishing and spitting at the sink. Henry cleared his throat after he emerged from the open door in a cloud of steam without me noticing.  
“Feel better?” I asked.  
“Yeah.” He sat down to put on his shoes.  
“How’ve you been?”  
“I’m managing fine,” he replied quietly. “I’ll get these clothes back to you.”  
“Ok.  
Henry rose and shrugged on his jacket. Then, he walked to the door. As he reached to turn the knob, I couldn’t help but ask.  
“When your friend jacked my bike, I recognized him from the video Kristen filmed of you and he coming out of the tent under Hamilton Bridge. I asked him if he knew Henry Bergen. He told me he was Henry Bergen.” I paused. “So, I’m curious. Who are you?”  
His head dipped. He slowly let the knob return to neutral, and just held himself in place.  
A few seconds passed. I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder and started to pull him around to face me before dropping it back to my side.  
“We had a good time together. I cared about you a lot. I invited you into my life and my family. At least tell me who you are.”  
“Ramon, I keep secrets. I avoid answering questions. I hide my past. But, I never lied to you. Yes, I omitted some major facts about my personal circumstances. When I first met you, I didn’t think we’d get along so well. I didn’t know I was going to care about you so much. I’m not a bad guy. I just live with a lot of shame. My name is Henry Bergen and I’m from Waco, TX.”  
“Why did he introduce himself as you?” I questioned.  
“Roger suffers schizophrenia. Sometimes he pretends to be me. He’s the guy I helped when I left you in the middle of the night. I’ve told him not to use my name but, when he’s in a crisis, he’s not thinking clearly. He doesn’t always steal things from people. There was just something in the air last week and it really affected him. He was doing some crazy shit.” He threw his hands up in surrender.  
I leaned against the wall and rested my head as my eyes gazed to the ceiling as I let out a heavy sigh of relief. I believed him. He spoke with honesty and I believed what he explained to me.  
“I’m sorry, Ramon. I ruined a great thing between us because i withheld the full story about myself. I’m trying to move on. I didn’t come here to win you back. Giving your bike back was the right thing to do. Thank you for the shower and clean clothes.”  
He walked a few steps toward me and put his hand on the side of my face. We held a long gaze and as his hand slipped away from my face, I panicked and the words escaped without control, “Don’t go.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for visiting my work. I hope you like the direction and pace of this story. I sit and write as the inspiration, and time, allows. I’m disappointed in the cancellation of the show. But, I like where my creative mind is taking me as I continue their story.

By the time Henry decided to stay, the clock read 01:30. Nearly falling asleep in the chair, I offered up my bed for him to rest soundly for a while. I couldn’t risk slipping in next to him; the temptation to not sleep too strong on me. I didn’t trust myself not to reach out for him or spoon his body when I got to R.E.M.  
Not sleeping for me was a new way of living. Thankfully, nothing pressing awaited me in the morning. I lit a joint from my Cannabliss stash and started clicking away on the keys. At times, I’d turn and take breaks just watching Henry sleep. It’s the first time he went to my bed with a t-shirt on. I watched his back rise and fall with each breath. He looked so peaceful with a face eased of all the stress clearly visible in the last few hours. He slept quietly and simply, I found myself getting lost in him again. What does he want? Does he dream goals? Is he trying to find a home? Spin wasn’t the highest paying job in town. But, from where I stand, he can’t have many expenses. He doesn’t pay tuition. A baby mama is out of the question. I spent enough time with him to know that outside of a frequent like of marijuana, he doesn’t have a drug problem. He doesn’t even drink alcohol. Where does his money go?  
In my heart, I know Henry makes me feel differently than any guy I’ve ever been with. He’s handsome, smart, kind, skilled (in the bedroom and out). He’s easy to know and share space. He’s loyal to his friends. He’s supportive and encouraging and he’s gotten under my skin in the best possible way. My family really gets on with him, too. Sure, I read him the riot act when I thought he was using me. Sure, Kristen said he was in the tent for two hours with Roger. Nevertheless, there’s lots of things you can do for two hours in confined space that isn’t sex. Roger doesn’t seem like Henry’s type. I can say it now since I met him when he took my bike. Like he said, he keeps things hidden. But, he’s not a liar. The day I accused him, I saw how hurt he was as I hurled accusations at him. With his blank face and hunched shoulders, he was scared and fragile. I owe Henry the same kindness he shows me whenever I hallucinate or doubt my ability to succeed in gaming. Because, I love him and the last month living separated failed to diminish my feelings even a little. As I watch him sleep in my bed, a vision I never thought I’d see again, I pinch myself just to make sure it’s not my newest conjuring. With every passing moment, the desire to kneel next to him, slide his shirt up his shoulders and off his head only to pepper his back with kisses grows deep inside of me like wildfire. Absolutely, he’d roll over and I’d hold him in my arms and move to his mouth with long, deep kisses and play of our tongues. The anticipation of sliding inside him manifested as my shorts swelled over the hard-on in my lap. Henry isn’t going anywhere right now. I turned away focusing once again on the game and technology in front of me. Another long drag on the joint. My concentration pulls equally to the game and Henry. With him sound asleep behind me, I refocused on the screens attempting to meet programming goals as I plan to enter the professional gaming world.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Thanks for coming back to keep up with my work. Life is happening in the meantime and takes me away from creativity intermittently. When I sit down at the keyboard, the story flows through me organically. I have no endpoint in mind and I’m just as excited to see where these two end up as I hope you are. Enjoy.

Henry woke me at 0830 in the morning. His gentle tousling of my hair roused me from my uncomfortable slumber. I fell asleep at my desk with keyboard creases on my cheek and a puddle of drool in front of me. Not cute. Stiffly, I sat up feeling momentarily bewildered. Yet, thankful my mind didn’t call my body to bed when I couldn’t go on any longer. Henry looked refreshed. Same old guy just with a new layer of awkward blanketing every previously easy moment between us. He cleaned up and dressed without disturbing me at all and waited to wake me until he was nearly ready to leave. He’s the best site in the morning. I was glad he didn’t slip out without me knowing.  
“You want me to make coffee?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.  
“No, thanks. I’ll get some at work.” He replied.  
Work, I guess he’s headed to work. I thought so, but since he looks the same almost everyday, maybe he planned to return to Hamilton Bridge? I don’t really know where he’d been hanging out or staying the last month for sure. I tried so hard not to think and consider his every move over the last four weeks.  
He finished tying his shoes and shrugged on his jacket. By this time, I stood between him and the door allowing the wall to hold me up. Henry checked his keys, and then, just like the first time outside of the laundry, he sauntered my way, quickly closing the gap between us, placing a hand on my ribs, and he kissed me a kiss I wasn’t expecting at all. He kissed me with a Henry kiss I’d missed for so long. Honest, without hesitation, and firm as his beard tickled all over my face. He pulled back and looked right into my eyes.  
“Thanks, man.” And then, he disappeared on the other side of the door. I walked back toward the bed and fell face first into it. Without anything demanding on the agenda today, I could indulge in a few hours of decent sleep. I crawled under the covers and laid right where Henry rested just an hour ago. Hugging his pillow and breathing in his scent, I quickly drifted off enveloped in him.  
Shokrani barefoot, but otherwise dressed in a suit like he is in our sessions, stood on the beach yelling at his mother. Waves broke on to the shore. The gentle sway of the dune grass dancing in the wind caught my eye. I turned back to see him walking away leaving her crying and calling after me. The sun burst into flames in the sky and embers started raining down around us on to the sand. I spun from side to side trying to find a way out of the burning trap. My anxiety rising inside and in complete frustration and near defeat, I brought my hands to the sides of my head and screamed long and hard. Fiery embers continued to encircle me. And then, I woke up with a jolt and in a bed-dampening sweat. Out of breath and disoriented, I pulled my knees to my chest and rocked there for several minutes until my breathing calmed. I lifted my resting head off my knees and glanced at the clock.  
“Of course, what other time would it be?” I asked as the clock glowed “11:11”.  
I climbed out of my damp bed and peeled off my wet clothes. For a half second, I considered stripping the linens and then let the thought go as I wasn’t ready to let go of Henry’s scent.  
I showered and dressed and smoothed my hair into a bun. I layered up on clothes and went over to check out my bike. Marred with a few new scratches, it seemed mostly ok. No bent frame. No rusty chain. No faulty brakes. The tires needed some air so it wasn’t ready to ride yet. I carried it out of the apartment and down the stairs. I walked it three blocks to the nearest cycle shop and borrowed a pump to air up. After I recapped each tube, I sat listening closely for a few minutes awaiting signs for a slow leak. Nothing obvious hissed at me. I hoped for the best, touched knuckles with the bike dudes, and walked it outside. On the sidewalk, I mounted up for the first ride since the return. I spun around a parking lot in the middle of the block and quickly found that old comfortable groove. Before I knew it, my bike with me aboard was cruising Old Portland, halfway to Spin.  
I coasted right into the bike rack and slipped through the doors past the baskets and bags of alternating clean and dirty clothes. Coffee and fabric softener wasn’t the most appealing combination of smells, though both great in their own respects. 

I casually walked in and found my way to a corner table. There was a customer at the counter and Henry’s back turned toward me. I pulled out a chair and sat down, hands in my pockets, just sitting and waiting. He finished up with the customer and set about tidying up behind the counter. He walked out to the dining area, cleared some dishes, wiped a table and turned back with a bus tub in his hands. Behind the counter, he stacked mugs and divided silverware. Then, he looked up, caught my eye, and smiled. Barely taking his eyes off me, he uprighted one of those mugs and poured it full of coffee. I watched him watching me the entire way from the counter to the table. He set the cup down in front of me and gripped the back of the chair opposite my seat.  
“Can you take a break?” I asked. He nodded, tendrils of hair falling over his left eye. He turned back toward the kitchen and leaned in to say something. His coworker Peta came out carrying plates of sandwiches and treats for the display case. Henry poured a coffee of his own and came to sit down with me.  
We made awkward small talk and sipped our java way too frequently. Small, hot sips. I shifted in my seat and traded a casual, sprawled, leaning back for sitting forward hunched over my cup. Henry looked cool as usual, hands resting in his lap. If he was nervous, I coudln’t tell. We talked a little about the game, my PGX experience, and I told him about the offer from the professional gaming company. Supportive as always, he expressed how awesome all the news is.  
“Things are going well for you. I’m glad, Ramon.” He smiled and my heart dropped. That smile makes me sane. Those arms keep me safe. That heart loves me without words. I know it does. The moment turned heavy and serious and all I could do was look at him. The tears welled in my eyes. He leaned forward and rested his folded hands on the table. My hands reached for his and he reached back. We held each other’s hands in a pile, center of the table. Holding nothing back, the tears streamed down my face and I let my head hang in defeat. I couldn’t keep my feelings walled off any longer. All those weeks spent with pent up hurt and anger and feelings of loneliness even when I wasn’t by myself. Feeling Henry’s support makes me whole again. He pushed his chair back and rose from the table in one motion pulling me to my feet, too and into his body. Wrapping me in his arms, I let him smother me and bury his face in my shoulder. My tears flowed unstoppably as we leaned into each other to keep from falling down. I tightened my grip until he could barely breathe. We stood, intertwined, for a long time. Loosening and pulling back only slightly, Henry’s lip quivered and his face showed a range of emotions. He feels it too, I see it. He just can’t say it. He reached his thumb up to wipe off my cheek and he dried his hand on his pants.  
“Can you come back at five?” He almost pleaded with me.  
“I’ll be here.” I answered with a shaky voice, nodding my head.  
He released his grip on me, grabbed his cup, and walked beyond the counter disappearing into the kitchen. I breathed deeply, sipped some coffee hoping it would help unclench my throat, and wiped my eyes dry. I dropped $5 on the table next to the cup and headed out with no plan but, an absolute need to burn up the next three and half hours.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying with me on each chapter. Any thoughts on where this will wind up?

Riding hard and fast, I weaved around early afternoon traffic and made my way back home for a quick pit stop. I grabbed some workout gear, called Duc.  
“Hey, buddy! Whatcha doin’? Motivating some architecture?” I chided.  
“Hi, Ramon. I’m actually finished with appointments for the day.” He replied.  
“Any chance you’d want to meet for lunch? And by lunch, I mean you pay. And by meet, I mean you take me to Millennium Fitness. What do you say?” I asked hoping he’d never tire of my mooching.  
“I’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes.” He sighed and hung up.  
To the closet I went to pick out clothes to wear when I returned home. This is a perfect distraction for the next few hours. A hard workout will do me good, relieve the angst I feel from my emotions, and hopefully, will put my libido in check. I live in casual layers and my fingers tripped through much of the same finding some jeans, t-shirt, flannel, boots, and a fleece zip.  
Soon enough, I heard the purr of the Tesla through my open window. Then, the horn. I grabbed my gym bag, water bottle, and zipped down the stairs.  
“You can’t come to the door?” I asked leaning into the open door.  
“This isn’t a date, bro. Get in.” He replied.  
We sped off and once we arrived at the gym, I thought Duc was a rockstar. Everyone’s head kept turning while we parked, walked to the front door and signed in, and made our way to the locker room. They treated Duc like royalty and all the ladies wanted a piece. Little did they know how he wouldn’t give in to them. I must ask him what’s up with Carmen, anyway. Once on the elliptical, I make my move.  
“How’s Carmen?” I start.  
“She’s grea...How do you know about that?” He scrutinizes.  
“I didn’t really know. But, you guys had a connection at dinner. Mom said you two went hiking together. Is there more to know?” I dug in.  
“We’ve shared some time. I’m trying to play it really smooth around her and something always gets in the way making me look like a doofus. Thankfully, she’s very understanding. But, I do feel like the universe placed her in my path so I can grow and develop empathy in places where it doesn’t currently flourish. I feel like she’s softening me.” He explained.  
“Wow, dude. That’s deep. Maybe not everything in the world has such secret meanings. Maybe Ashley and Malcolm just saw two single people who might hit it off.” I offered.  
“No.” He resisted. “I”m sure it’s more than that. Take, for instance, that guy you met. Henry. You two connected only through casual means. You developed a great connection. And then, he cheated on you.”  
“Yeah, what’s your point?” I said annoyed.  
“My point is, you can’t generate lasting bonds through casual contact. Everyday you went to the coffee shop, Henry was working. You could count on that. Carmen and I were a chance meeting. Powers in the universe allowed this to happen.” He resolved.  
“Bullshit!” I exclaimed. “Henry and I connected deeply and we really started caring for each other. Then, Kristen gets involved and plants thoughts in my head that probably weren’t even true. We don’t know he cheated. I’m actually pretty sure he didn’t. But, you guys can’t leave well enough alone, just like everything else in my life. Family can’t stop themselves from meddling. I really like him. My life has been shit for the last month because he hasn’t been around. I miss him terribly and, you know what? I’m seeing him tonight,” I proclaimed as I jumped off the machine and headed to the free weights.  
“Hey, man. I”m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, Baby Jesus. You know we all love you very much. We just want to protect you,” he reached out to me.  
“I know. It’s just so frustrating. I don’t want to be away from him. If Kristen never would’ve showed me the video, I wouldn’t have known about Henry sneaking off,” I lamented.  
“Is that really what you want? Henry is homeless and never told you. He quietly moved in and became a permanent part of your life. Was it really a connection? We’re his intentions really genuine? How can you tell? No matter how it feels, I think you’re better off knowing who he really is,” Duc assured.  
“Duc, you met him like once. You don’t know who he is.” I judged.  
“You’re right. And neither do you. Hey, I get it. I like Henry. He seemed like a great guy. But, you’re my brother and you’re my priority.” He confirmed.  
“I get that. And, thank you. Everyone likes Henry. I was drawn to him very quickly. But, he’s no con man. He has a lot of secrets. When we’re together, I know who he is. He started opening up to me and sharing pieces of himself. He’s got a tough exterior covering a vulnerable soul. I want that vulnerable soul for myself.” I asserted.  
“So, you’re seeing him tonight?” I questioned.  
“Yes. He returned my bike last night. We talked a little. He slept over, just slept. And we had coffee today. I’m meeting him at 5.” I explained.  
“Good luck, man. I hope it goes well.”  
We finished our workout not a moment too soon. Duc pushed me hard, as he always does. That’s what he does, he’s a motivator. We showered and changed clothes. Duc made some new professional contacts along the way. In the cafe, we got sandwiches and hydration. We zoomed out of the parking lot and arrived to my apartment just about 4:30.  
“Thanks for the workout and the advice.” I said.  
“Anytime, Ramon. Just be careful. Anytime you need anything, I’m here for you.”  
“So genuine, Duc. Thanks for your support. And, by the way, any chance I can borrow some money? A hundred dollars ought to do it,” I asked with an open palm.  
Hot money in my hand, I bound up the stairs to my apartment to change. I straightened the bed and powered down some of my technology. Down the stairs and a fifteen minute ride later, I landed back at Spin. I waited outside on the corner and a few minutes later, Henry exited and circled back to me. Yes, he rewarded my waiting with a firm, sure Henry kiss.  
“Hi!” He said with a bright face.  
“Hi,” I replied just a little sheepishly. He always catches me off guard.  
“Now what?” He asked.  
“Let’s go to your truck,” I motioned with my head toward the parking lot. Henry grabbed my bike and we started walking. He put the bike in the bed of the truck, raised and locked the gate, and stood there resting his chin on his arms.  
“There’s a Thai place a few blocks from here. Let’s get dinner,” I offered.  
We got in the truck and pulled away toward the restaurant. We circled the block and found a place to park. Once out of the truck, Henry reached for my hand. We interlocked fingers as we walked together into the restaurant. Henry stood very close to me and never took his hands off me as the host directed us to a booth in the corner. I slid in first and Henry followed on the same side as me. He turned to face me with a bent leg on the seat between us and his arm around my shoulders. The server arrived with menus and water. It took us ten minutes to even look at the available dishes and specials. We fell back in step and only had eyes for each other.  
I chose Pad Thai and Henry chose a dish with shrimp, coconut, and curry paste. We ate and enjoyed. The chemistry between us only enhanced the flavors of the food. Henry frequently used his napkin and ate methodically enough to avoid tangling food particles in his beard. He cleaned his plate and helped me clear the last few bites of noodles and chicken from mine. He took a long drink of water as I moved the napkin off my lap and pushed my plate back. He ran his fingers through his hair and then stroked my ear as we blocked out all the distractions around us. After a long pause, Henry pulled me to him and kissed me slow and long and deep. His tongue invaded my mouth and I loved every moment. I wanted to crawl on top of him and lose myself completely in him. And then, Duc’s voice came into my mind and reminded me how much I don’t know about Henry. I can’t ignore the questions swirling in my mind and beyond Waco, Texas, I want Henry to share who he is with me.  
I pulled away from him and swallowed a long swig of water to slake my parched throat. After our mini make-out session, the servers returned to our table to close out our meal. We got a couple of iced coffees to-go. I paid the check and we made our way to the door, hand-in-hand.  
“Where to, Cletus?” Henry asked as we approached the truck.  
“Take me to a dark spot.” I suggested.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mature content ahead.

We drove in silence. Him, with his arm around my neck. Me, sitting illegally close to him on the bench seat of his old truck. My left hand intermittently stroking and resting on his thigh. The fire of desire grew in my belly with each passing minute and mile. Traffic lightened and the sun was setting over the Cascades. He nudged me closer and kissed the top of my head. I couldn’t predict what was going to happen tonight. I tried to stay in the moment without setting expectations and opening myself up to disappointment. Just because we were together again doesn’t mean I wanted our relationship to be the same. I wanted more. I wanted us to build something stronger and better, like the game. We hit a major roadblock those weeks ago. Now, it’s time to pick up, see where we went wrong, improve, and move forward.  
Ten minutes outside of town, by way of the Willamette River and we abruptly pulled off the road on to a wooded lane.  
“What’s wrong?” I asked.  
“Nothing. This is the route,” he reassured me and held me just a little closer. We zigged and zagged through the woods and within a few minutes came to a clearing. I could hear the roar of water in the near distance. I left my phone in the cab of the truck. I didn’t need any family-meddling disturbances during the night. Duc was the most tight-lipped of my siblings, but you never know. Mom is relentless when she smells juicy news. To her, getting back with Henry would be juicy.  
We exited the truck and I paused taking a look around and inhaling a deep breath of the nature before me. I never got tired of the cool forest, rushing water, and pure scents. Vibrant city living is the best and it really makes these escapes special. Henry taught me that. I stepped to the back of the truck where Henry was sitting on the tailgate.  
“Can we get a little more comfortable,” I requested.  
“Sure,” he said taking a drag from his newly-lit joint. He handed it off to me and stood up. He retrieved my bike and handed to me. I safely lowered it to the ground and set it on it’s stand just a few feet from the truck as Henry jumped down and went to the cab. He opened the driver’s door and reaching behind the seat pulled out his sleeping bag, pillows, and several blankets. Kicking the door closed, he returned to the gate and unloaded his arms before jumping back up to start transforming the bed of the truck into a soft place for us to land. I sat down and unlaced my boots, then stood to help him stretch out the blankets and strategically place the layers creating the most cushiony arrangement. We passed the joint back and forth as we worked. A little movement was great for digestion.  
“I have to pee,” he admitted with a smile. Quickly he jumped down and disappeared into the woods for his nature break. I unbuttoned and slipped out of my pants. We laid without pants the first time and the weather was just temperate enough to do without restrictions on this occasion, too. I folded my jeans and placed them off to the side as Henry returned. I crawled to the top of bed and reclined pulling a blanket over my legs. It’s funny, in the truck, Henry lays to my right and I to his left. It’s the reverse at home in my bed. He looked down and spotted my folded jeans.  
“We’re going no pants? That’s pretty bold,” he joked.  
“Not bold, just comfortable,” I corrected with a chuckle. He dropped his drawers and crawled into place next to me. He sighed heavily covering over with a blanket and we sat quietly allowing time to pass. We smoked the joint to the end and the tension and nervousness between us dissipated in the haze above us. We laid shoulders touching, still. Henry breathed deeply and reached for my hand. He held it over his chest.  
“Come here,” he invited with a tug. I raised up, turned, and laid into him. He secured his arms around me. He leaned his head forward and took my lips between his. This was it; this is home. I stroked up his leg, across his hip, and tucked my hand around his back. I positioned my leg between his and very quickly, tensions started to rise again. It took every ounce of restraint inside of me to say, “Wait.”  
“What’s wrong?” He asked.  
“We can’t do this,” I protested.  
“We can, actually. Let me show you how,” he replied reaching for me again.  
“No, Henry. This doesn’t solve anything.”  
“I know. Of course I recognize that we need to talk. I owe you an explanation and I’m going to give it to you. But, I missed you so much and I just need to feel you right now,” he explained.  
“One question,” I asked as I dodged his tender, kissable lips.  
“Okay,” he guarded.  
“Did you have sex with the guy in the tent the day Kristen saw you?” I said all at once so I didn’t lose my initiative. He just looked at me. “I trust you and I know you won’t lie to me. You never answered the first time I asked you.”  
“Ramon, I’m not a cheater. No, I didn’t sleep with Roger,” he confirmed. “Just a few days before then, you and I spent the day together and I committed myself to you. I even told you I was with you. How could you think I would cheat on you?” he questioned.  
“It’s because we shared so much I thought you did. I thought you weren’t ready and you just wanted to escape me,” I justified.  
“I came home that day and made love to you and that’s the day you told me you loved me. That day is so meaningful to me. I haven’t even looked at another guy since you and I got together. Roger is my friend who relapsed. I went to the tent several times that week just to check on him and be there for him. We talked for a long time. But, I absolutely don’t see Roger in that way,” he recounted. “I want you and I’m hoping to hell you still want me.”  
I pushed myself up to connect with his lips. We kissed passionately, we never had a problem hooking up. We didn’t use sex to skirt issues. We used it as a conduit to strengthen the bond between us.  
I slipped my hand inside his briefs and his growing penis met my wandering hand. I encircled the shaft with my hand and felt the moisture of pre-cum on the tip. Henry struggled, but overcame, to slide his underwear off his body under the blanket. I rubbed my pelvis against his while my hand encouraged his excitement. I kissed him deeply, again and then moved my whole body between his legs. I slid down and sat on my knees as I looked longingly at Henry’s body and face. I rubbed my hands over his abs and then down to his groin. I lowered my face to him and took his penis into my mouth. I worked my lips up and down his length, sucking off the tip each time I surfaced. Henry’s moans guided my every move, especially when I massaged his balls while I deep-throated his dick. He held my head with one palm and my hand with the other. Fingers interlaced, I transferred the love I felt for him into all of my actions. Teasing motions to keep him guessing and on edge, followed furious caresses. I licked and kissed his groin and his legs while my hand allowed my tongue a respite. The pace continued and when Henry finally whispered “I’m going to cum,” I put my mouth back in place and slurped and swallowed his entire load. When he finally softened, I pulled him toward me and holding his head in my hands, I let him taste what I tasted. He lapped at each one of my fingers just to consume every drop and waste nothing.  
My own dick was rock hard by now and I couldn’t wait to continue worshipping and pleasing him. He pulled a small bottle of lube out of thin air and I fished a condom out of my pants. I moved up a little and rested his ass cheeks on my knees as I slowly slipped out of my briefs. I tore the wrapper between my teeth and rolled the condom on. Then, squeezed the lube into my hand. I rubbed it all over my dick as I ran my other hand up and down his leg. I reached down and spread the remainder over Henry’s ass. He gazed at me with great anticipation and with every movement and motion I wanted only to please him. I pushed slowly into him and his body seized up in front of me. His back arched as he squeezed his eyes shut in pleasure. A gasp and a moan escaped his tight lips. I supported my weight over his chest on my elbows next to his head as I slid deeper inside him. My slow, cautious pace quickly hastened and soon I was thrusting hard into his core. He gritted his teeth and took everything I gave him. He grabbed my head and speared his tongue into my mouth. His fury only spurred my pace. I pushed his shirt up to his neck and kissed down his chest. My flickering tongue sought out and found his nipples. I directed his arms above his head and kissed my way into his arm pit before coming back to bite at his pebbled nipples. I lifted up and straightened my arms shielding him with my whole form. He rubbed my back and squeezed my ass while I worked him over. Sweat dripped off me on to him as his own sweat disappear into the sleeping bag below him.  
“Aw, God!” is all he could utter and simply hearing his ecstasy brought me to climax, too. We came together and he shot a load all over my shirt and his stomach as I released inside him. He pulled me tightly down on top of him.  
“Don’t move,” he said as he buried his face in my shoulder and chest. I let my breathing slow naturally and when the sound quieted, all I could hear was Henry whimpering. Without withdrawing, I held Henry securely in my arms. He looped his arms under mine and firmly grabbed hold of my shoulders. After a while, I pulled out of him and quickly disposed of the condom. Then I laid back and brought Henry over to lean on me. I covered us both with a blanket and for the first time, I supported and protected him. The exact thing I failed to do just a month before. I used my hands to reassure him with petting motions on his head, his back, and his arms. Occasionally, he moved to kiss me. But, otherwise, we stayed glued together just like that. The nature surrounding us sang a perfect soundtrack. Some time during the night we drifted off, intertwined with one another.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay in posts. Thank you for returning to continue this journey with me.

The morning birdsong slowly brought me out of a deep slumber. Increasingly aware of my surroundings, I felt the cool air of dawn on my neck and shoulders. I slid down just a little bit farther under the blankets and curled more tightly against Henry spooning me from behind. He stirred slightly and secured his arm around my body clinging to me. It felt wonderful waking up with him again. I reached behind me and stroked any bit of his body I could reach. It wasn’t long that all of him awakened and before I knew it, we made love in the earliest morning light. In moments like this, when I’m with Henry, I feel safe, and loved, and secure. The only thing missing is the more that I want from him. I want to feel honored and as long as he keeps secrets, we can’t grow that part of this relationship.  
The sun began to shine over more than just the horizon and I couldn’t lie still for another moment.   
“Dude, I gotta get up and pee,” I proclaimed as I extricated myself from Henry’s hold. I slipped on a t-shirt and my shorts and boots and nearly ran like a rabbit into the woods. I found a decades old tree to hide behind and let my own river run. I thought about how great my orgasm felt with a full bladder as Henry rubbed against my prostate and held my body in time and rhythm to his own. It’s only getting better and I shiver just recalling the recent memory. It’s new for us to make love not looking at each other. But, other positions benefit in other ways. I always do love staring deeply into his eyes as he stares back into mine. It’s the most open and honest we’ve ever been with each other.

It was cool, and green, and misty in the woods as we languish in spring. Henry joined me in the woods and once we relieved our bodies, he took my hand and led me down a small, worn path. It wasn’t long at all that we arrived to a clearing and the rushing creek I’d heard in the distance since we first stopped the truck. He disrobed and then turned to me. He helped me take my shirt off and then pulled me into a deep, mind-swirling kiss during which he slipped his hands inside my shorts and pushed them down as he massaged my buttocks. I stepped out of my boots and with his hand to steady me, we stepped precariously into the rushing creek.  
“The rocks are pretty slippery here. Be careful,” he warned, still holding my hand.  
We played a little, and then we washed each other in the chilly, clear water, and then we embraced and loved each other just a little bit longer. He stroked my penis while he held me impossibly close and shoved his tongue down my throat. He got me so aroused and I was intoxicated by the haze of pheromones and rush of endorphins. I felt so clear and so alive. There’s no doubt that Henry strengthens and calms me. I feel such incredible love and connection to him and I know he feels something significant, too. He can’t express it but, he doesn’t run from it either. When we’re together, he’s always present in the moment. I was more motivated now than ever to get him to talk to me. The words I wanted to say rising in my throat. My only choice to squelch them as he needed to be ready to talk. I couldn’t force it. I still remember the range of emotions on his face the first time I told him “I love you.”  
We dressed and packed up the truck before leisurely driving back into the city. We stopped at Spin just early enough to drink a coffee before Henry’s shift started.   
“I’ll see you later, man,” Henry said as I lowered my bike to the street.   
“Text me today, if you want,” I said sheepishly as I rode off.

On the way home, I deviated from my route and stopped at You, Again, a consignment shop in Old Portland. I always like the way Henry looks, he really wears his clothes. But, one of the most nagging thoughts in my mind after we broke up related to his clothes. He wears the same pants everyday. How could I not realize how dire his situation? I found two pairs of rugged pants, his brand, his size. The store policy is all sales final. If he hated what I purchased, maybe he could give to some of his friends. I kept looking and surprisingly found a gray, pinstriped vest, and a black dress shirt. I only spent $50. I put the bag on my handlebars and cruised the rest of the way home.

When I arrived, I neatly hung the new clothes on Henry’s side of the closet. I picked up a little and straightened the bed. Then, I logged on to my school’s web portal and checked messages about upcoming graduation activities. My phone interrupted my thoughts.  
“Hi, Mom,” I answered.  
“Sweetie, I’m so glad you picked up. I have to talk with you about the graduation schedule. You’ve told me nothing so far and we have to plan. How about if I take you to lunch today and you can fill me in? I’ll be at your apartment by 12:30, ok?”  
“Sure,” was the only reply I could squeeze out before she hung up.  
I busied myself at home and working on the game until 12:30. I bounded down the stairs and jumped into the Lexus, sure to give her a big hug before we drove away. I talked Mom into sandwiches at Fat Jack’s and then convinced her to stop at a department store where I quickly picked up packages of underwear, t-shirts, and socks to complete my new supply for Henry. I didn’t tell her that. I sent Henry a text as we made our way back to the apartment.  
“Miss you. Hope you’re having a fast day.” I wrote. He responded just a few minutes later.  
“Time is crawling and all I can think about is you.”   
Mom dropped me off and pulled away sufficiently full of hugs and knowledge for the activities this next week. We didn’t talk about Henry. I stashed the new clothing essentials at home and then made my way to the gym. I showered and changed at home and when Henry texted he was on his way, I walked to the corner and picked up a pizza. I threw it in the oven on warm and fashioned a couple salads out of a bagged lettuce kit.  
He knocked when he arrived and I opened the door. He consumed me in an embrace lasting a good, long minute.  
“I got dinner. Why don’t you shower before we eat?” I suggested. I laid out some clothes for him including basketball shorts, new underwear, and a new t-shirt. After his shower, he opened the closet to put his boots inside.  
“What’s all this?” He asked with a certain tone in his voice.  
“I got those for you,” I replied cautiously. He paused, shook his head, ran a hand through his wet hair.  
“I don’t need your handouts, man. Why would you do this?” he questioned. He sat down on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. Only when I approached him could I see him quivering.  
“Hey, it’s not a handout,” I said crouching down in front of him. I held his shins as I steadied myself.   
“I stopped by a few places to see if they had anything you’d like. I found these. You can pay me back, it’s no problem.” I explained.   
“I can take care of myself. If you don’t like my clothes,”   
“Hey, hey. It’s not like that.” I grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands away from this reddened face.   
“I just wanted to see if I could find some stuff you’d like to keep here.” I offered. His face and shoulders dropped. Tears welled in his eyes and when one escaped and ran down his cheek, I pulled him to me. I’m just trying to support him as he did for me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stay with me. Henry is bound to open up sooner rather than later.

Experiencing Henry’s vulnerability is spectacular and unnerving all at the same time. Fissures in the walls beyond his skin shed the slightest daylight on what he’s hiding. I want the fracture the walls and tear them down. Waiting for him to be ready is agony. Nevertheless, I nearly lost him and now that we are rebuilding the trust between us, I can’t force him to tell me his secrets.  
“Something’s burning,” Henry muttered in my ear.  
“Oh, shit! The pizza. I left it warming in the oven in the box.” I sprang into the kitchen, opened the smoky oven and then leapt toward the window. I threw it up and waved the smoke to clear. Henry grabbed the hot, charred box from the rack, tossed it on top of the range, and closed the oven door. After laughing quite a bit and waving the cloud of smoke away, we found the pizza had really melted cheese and was still completely edible. It was as hot as the sun, so we started with the salad and then moved to the cooled pizza.   
Henry packaged up the leftovers and washed the dishes while I carried the box down to the refuse area behind my building. Later that night, he blew me in the shower and then we fucked in bed until he fell asleep. Now, I’m awake, still smelling burnt pizza and cardboard. Is the stench in the apartment or just inside my nose? So hard to tell. I opened all the windows and I’m hoping the cross breeze clears any residual by morning. The breeze feels nice and the glow from the moon in the sky lights Henry’s restful face. I gently stroke his hair, just to feel him, not to disturb him. He sleeps with reckless abandon, trusting himself to rest soundly with me. Not sleeping on-guard and jumping at every little noise and movement the way I imagine one sleeps when homeless. Several hours into the night, he woke up and caught me looking. He rolled over and then pulled me across his body. I kissed him almost from head-to-toe and put my hands all over him. We fell asleep in the same position. Toward the morning, Henry shook me awake as I hallucinated his image in the town square of a Latin village. I screamed and called after him. All I saw was him being dragged away by gunman into the shadows and me left to watch, helpless and alone.

By the end of the week, my whole family gathered for my graduation with a BS in Computer Sciences. I talked with Duc earlier in the week.  
“Listen, Duc. Henry will attend the ceremony on Friday,” I briefed him.  
“Okayyyy, does Mom know?” He inquired.  
“No, and I’d rather not get into a discussion with her about it beforehand. Can you just do me a favor and try to run interference if she goes totally Mom on me when we’re there?”  
“Sure, I’d love to put myself into the middle of that fray,” he joked.  
“Look, just motivate her architecture on to another subject.” I pleaded.

On a day Henry was working, I called Kristen and offered to take her to lunch. I knew she’d be at the graduation and I didn’t want any extra tension. Between Mom and Dad and my family and Henry, I’d have enough to deal with and need all possible allies on my side. I apologized for blowing up at her over the Henry in the tent situation and realized she cared for me and only wanted what was best. As much as our break-up hurt, the time apart was valuable and now, we found our way back to each other. I gave her a shoulder to cry on as she talked about her feelings for Navid and his departure to San Francisco. She explained that all text messages to him went unanswered.   
“We’re not having great luck with the Shokrani’s lately,” I explained. “If Navid moved to San Francisco with his mom, that explains why I haven’t been able to connect with his dad for an appointment. I’ll give it a little more time.”

At the graduation, Mom and Dad were so distracted with each other, they hardly noticed Henry. I was glad the evening didn’t turn into an argument or inquiry session of Henry or me. Henry, Duc, and Malcolm fell into step the way they were at dinner that night a few months ago. Ashley questioned me about our reunion.   
“How can you take him back when he’s not honest with you, Ramon?” She asked.  
“Ashley, I love you and I love how much you’re looking out for me. We’re trying to work this out. Not everyone in my community was reared with open, loving arms from forward-thinking parents. Henry and I connect on a profound level. I’m supporting him as he tries to reveal his past to me. It would be helpful if someone in this family offered me support instead of judging a situation they really know nothing about.” I scolded her.  
“I’m sorry, Ramon. You’re right. I just don’t want you to let him use and hurt you like before.”  
“He’s not a conman, Ash. He’s hurting inside and I want to be there for him. Your support, or frankly, your indifference would be far more helpful than your criticism.” With her hands up, she backed away a few steps, then laughed. We hugged it out. 

The celebration continued with a family reception at my parent’s house. Unfortunately, the air was wrought with tension and the party didn’t last long. Thirty minutes in, Mom and Dad got into an argument and before we knew it, they closed themselves off arguing quietly through clenched jaws, in their bedroom. All of us quietly left through the front door. I made sure to pack a couple of storage containers full of the delicious spread Mom catered in. I couldn’t let it go to waste. 

Ashley and Kristen insisted on taking some photos of me in my cap and gown on campus when we arrived before the ceremony. Henry talked with Kristen during the evening, I would later find out. He told her he understood what she did, why she did it, and that he harbored no bad feelings anymore. She apologized and explained her actions truly came from love for me. She took a photo of him and me together and texted it to him later. “I’ve never seen him so happy,” she captioned.

We drove home and dropped the food off at my apartment. Henry suggested we take a walk and so on that Friday evening, I strolled around Portland with my guy. He pointed out a couple of places he used to work, a restaurant where he waited tables, an art house movie theater, and a bicycle messenger service office where he answered the phones and scheduled pick-ups and deliveries. We held hands or walked with our arms around one another and sometimes we stopped to kiss on the street. Henry lived how he felt and one thing he never hid was how he felt about me, from the first moment I met him. We stopped into a Cannabliss and picked up some stuff for the weekend. Then, soon enough, we found ourselves in front of Voodoo Donuts.   
“C’mon. Let’s go inside. Sweet treat on me,” he invited. And go inside we did.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proceed cautiously. Detailed sexual content lies ahead. I hope you are as aroused reading this as I was writing it. I welcome your feedback. Enjoy.

We walked home arm in arm, high on life and sugar. The city, teeming with activity, felt as alive as any day I’d ever lived here. The warm evening bathed us in feverish love. Henry didn’t have to say it, I felt it in every step we took. How his secure arm squeezed me as we strolled. How he let his guard down and smiled and laughed with ease. It’s intoxicating making a person shine like I do for Henry. I see the effect of my love on him. It only makes me fall deeper and want more with him. My eyes see only him. When he’s not at my side or touching me, I look for him. As I consider how happy he makes me, I wonder how I ever made it through our weeks of separation. Like a dove-tail cut on wood, before sanding, we fit together albeit roughly around the edges.

Reluctantly, we arrived home. I wanted to walk the city all night with my guy, but the powers at Spin scheduled Henry to work the next day. We sat down on the bed and took off our shoes. Henry undressed removing all the outward layers on himself. He took me by the hand and led me into the bathroom where we started the shower. As the steam billowed and filled the small room, he kissed my neck and took my clothes off dropping them into a pile on the floor. He embraced me tightly and held me there for a long time. I pulled my hair back with a hair tie and followed as he led me into the shower. He held me against his body while the hot water pelted his back and my shoulders. I gently rested my head on his shoulder as I snugged my arms around him a little more securely.  
“I love you.” I whispered. “I can make all my dreams come true with your love and support. I know you love me and I’ll wait until you are ready to hear you say it.” I buried my head in his shoulder. The feelings bubbling and firing between us felt overwhelming and completely indescribable. My throat narrowed and clenched. Tears welled in my eyes. My body weakened and shook in Henry’s arms. He steadied me and permitted me to let go. All the pressure from these last few months; the hallucinations and psychiatry appointments, new medication, the college course work, the stress of the video game expo and possible job prospects, meeting Henry, losing Henry, reconnecting with Henry, meddling from my family, trouble in my parent’s marriage, questioning my strength and health, everything. I can’t believe I held it together long enough to successfully complete my degree. There were so many times I wanted to pull the covers over my head and hide in my apartment all day, all week. My tears turned to sobs. Finally, I found a release to all the bottled emotions inside of me. 

When I came down from the crescendo of emotion, I loosened my grip and pulled back to look at Henry. Hiding a bashful face, I saw tears streaming from his reddened eyes. I wiped my own eyes first, then cupped Henry’s face in my hands and wiped his tears away with my thumbs. He uttered no words, just cleared his throat. I cradled his head in the crook of my arm and held his jaw in my hand. I bent my face toward his and allowed our lips to connect with painful slowness. I pecked, and I kissed, and I languished my appreciation and care all over his mouth. We were sloppy and uninhibited and hungry for each other. The strong chemistry of our connection growing in complexity with each segment of time we spend together. Still, there’s so much more to know.

As the water turned from hot to warm, Henry began washing me. He lingered and played as he soaped my buttocks and nether regions. Turning his back to me, he leaned against me and guided my hand as I held the soap. I swirled it all over his chest and abdomen, under his arms, between his legs, and down to his feet. We rinsed off with barely a molecule of warm water amongst us. At this point, we generated enough heat to keep chills away. He dried me from head to toe with my towel and even wrapped it around my waist as he stood dripping beside me. I brushed my teeth while he dried off, then padded to the kitchen for a glass of water to keep by the bed. 

We placed our towels on their hooks, plugged in our phones, and settled into bed. Like two magnets, we couldn’t help the pull to each other and quickly we found ourselves locked in each other’s arms again.  
“Go slow, don’t rush it.” I urged.  
“No worries. I want to savor you,” he whispered. And savor he did. Slowly and deliberately, he touched every inch of my body with his hands and his lips. He breathed me in and controlled the entire experience. We took turns trading off, rolling around, and flipping the script on each other. Every move intentional, pleasurable, and meant to deepen our bond. All the sex we shared so far brought us to orgasm and satisfied. However, we never broached the topic of specific preferences. Tonight, we took our time, communicated, and incorporated some of what each other liked. It was a new day in our respect for each other.  
“Tell me what you like,” I persuaded as I caressed and worshipped slowly down his chest.  
“It really turns me on if you finger my ass while you suck me off,” Henry shared as he pushed his hair out of his face.  
“Ok, no problem.” I replied with a smile.  
“What about you?” He asked quietly.  
“Ugh...I know it’s really boring to say, but I love missionary with you. Yes, I’m open to experimenting and fucking all over the place in lots of different positions. However, I want to watch you fuck me and I want you to see me getting fucked. It really turns me on. And I just want to lose myself in your eyes.” I said with honesty and without shame.  
“We fuck a lot and I love that we do. There’s no way to get comfortable and make it as pleasurable as possible without knowing each other’s bodies and what we both like. I hope we discover new things we like with each other,” he asserted. “If I didn’t feel chemistry with you on every level, I wouldn’t be here. I felt sexual chemistry with you very early on talking at Spin and every chance I get, I want to explore. I’m here for your ecstasy as much as I am my own. And, it has very little to do with getting off.” He assured.  
Right there, I fell even deeper in love with him. I didn’t even have to think about it. I’m in love with Henry, no doubt, no hallucinations. I resumed my activity and worked my way down to his groin. For the next thirty minutes, I rubbed, squeezed, licked, and sucked his dick from soft to hard, to throbbing. I coaxed his legs open, lubed up, and found a position where I could perfectly suck him off and finger his ass until his body shuddered and he ejaculated harder than any other time we were together. I pumped his dick with my mouth, rubbed his ass with my fingers, and sucked out every last drop. I deep-throated my man and swallowed his sweet cum and he reward me with a tender, passionate kiss. 

“Ramon, turn on your stomach,” he guided me. I agreed and soon after, he went to work. He committed his attention and tongue to my ass. In minutes, I was moaning insanely loud and begging him for more. Henry sought out the most satisfying techniques confirmed by my bucking body and cries of pleasure. He teased my ass with his fingers angled awkwardly at first, and then moving with the curves of my body. He laid on top of me and moved with me as he worked me over with his fingers, massaging in and out and arousing my dick rock hard. He pulled out to give me a rest and just when I thought he was going to fuck me from behind, he rolled me over and knelt between my legs and kissed me lustfully. He stroked my dick and balls with intermittent pressure and speed throwing me into an erratic breathing pattern. I didn’t have to tell him not to stop. He knew his mission better than me. 

His dick hardened again. I lost track of everything and before I knew it, he was pushing gently inside me. Poised over me, I wrapped my arms around him and pushed my pelvis up to him, causing his dick to slide deeper inside me. He stopped for a minute to regain control of the pace and kissed me. I hoped he could taste his cum on my lips. He pulled back and then scooped his hips up to meet me. For thirty-five minutes, he varied the speed, depth, pace, and rhythm of his thrusts. His sweat poured all over me just as his cum eventually did. Rocking knees open and back, I wanted all of him in me, on me, everywhere I could get it. His touch made me insatiable. He worked so diligently to please me. I responded in kind and tightened around him like a lock when he finally helped me release my orgasm. 

We wandered to the bathroom in each other’s arms and rapidly cleaned up and peed before falling into bed after 1am. Henry quickly set his alarm and then fell asleep splayed on top of me with his leg between mine. We slept the soundest we ever slept with each other during those next six hours. When the alarm sounded, I kissed Henry awake with sweet pecks all over his head and face after he rolled over to silence the alarm. He got up and got ready. I put on some shorts and fired up my computer. We lingered at the door and in the hall kissing goodbye. It would be the longest eight plus hours of my life until he returned to me. But, as sore as I was and as chapped as my lips felt, we needed the break. I spent all day rehydrating.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing explicit sexual content warning.

Just after 4:30, Henry’s truck rumbled around the corner and parked in the alley next to my building. I anxiously waited for him and when his keys jingled in the hallway, I got up and walked to the door. I opened it and let him walk in. We embraced in a multi-minute hug until he squeezed me so tightly I couldn’t breathe and then lifted me off my feet. I kissed him, then returned to the desk where I made a ton of progress on my game during the afternoon. I let him relax from the events of the day. Grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen, he took a long gulp, put the glass next to him as he sat on the bed and then collapsed back. After a few minutes of groaning and stretching, silence fell over us. Then, he spoke.  
“I was thinking today. I’m with you and you’re with me. And everything we need, we get from each other, right?” He asked cryptically.  
“Yeahhhh, “ I responded drawing out my answer trying to imagine where he was going with this.  
“Sex acts should be shared and used to strengthen communication in a relationship. Do you agree?”  
“Sure.”  
“Good. Then I want all of your orgasms and all of your cum.” He stated. I spun around in my chair.  
“I haven’t hooked up with anyone else while we’ve been together.” I replied.  
“No, that’s not what I mean. I don’t want you to jack off. If you need to orgasm, I want you to tell me and I want to help you get there. No jerking off in the shower unless I’m there to do it for you. No masturbation when you have a coder’s block and need a release to move forward, unless I’m here to help. Every orgasm and every drop of your cum, it’s mine, ok? And, the same for me.” He said with confidence, very matter-of-fact-ly.  
I thought about it for a minute. I’ve never had to consider such an arrangement. I’ve been jacking off since I was 12. I’m one of the horniest people I know, aside from maybe Kristen. Eww, gross. Don’t think about her in this moment. I crossed my arms, sucked in a long drag on my joint, now deeply in thought. Images flashed through my mind of what this arrangement might look like. I could almost feel Henry cupping my balls.  
“That’s sexy as fuck, daddy.” I finally answered. Yet again, Henry drew me closer in a way only he could. He raised his head, smiled and then rolled up off the bed, on to his knees and crawled the few feet to my chair. He slipped my shorts off over my hips and down to the floor taking my semi-engorged penis into his warm, welcoming mouth. It didn’t take long for me to get hard. Nonetheless, Henry played and teased me over the next fifteen minutes. I exploded in orgasm and he took it all. Spent and invigorated at the same time, I took him to bed. Rather than just a garden variety blowjob, I open his shirt and his pants, kissed his neck, caressed his rock hard dick, and let my hand do all the work as I busied his mouth with mine. I kissed him over and over, deeply. Smothering his moans and his gasps for air with my own mouth. I tasted me on his tongue and I just kept licking and diving in for more. After he came, all over my hand and his pants, we laid together just kissing and touching.

“Let’s go camping,” Henry baited.  
“Now?” I questioned.  
“Yeah, why not? No time like the present. I don’t have to work for three days. We can get back to nature and unplug from all the usual distractions.” He said.  
“You mean my family.” I charged.  
“Ramon, I just want to spend time with you. No more school, no family, no work. Just for a few days. Let’s celebrate your graduation and take some time before the next routine engulfs us. Let’s live a little!”  
“Yes, let’s do it.” I confirmed.  
It took no time at all for us to throw a few clothes and supplies in a bag. Henry kept most of what we needed in his truck. I sent a text message to Mom, “Going camping with Henry. No phone. Be back in a few days.”  
The phone rang as we closed the door behind us. Surely she wanted more details. We stopped for tacos, then the store for provisions. After grabbing several gallons of water, a bunch of trail mix, jerky, protein bars, bread, and almond butter, we hit the road. By nightfall, we made it to our dark space arranging our makeshift bed in the back of Henry’s truck, talking about the carefree days gone by from childhood. He sharing stories of cow tipping and cow chip chucking. Me talking about treehouse forts and hostage fireflies. It was everything we needed and I’m so glad Henry suggested we go.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued interest following my interpretation of Ramon’s and Henry’s story. I appreciate your kind words and well wishes. I’m doing my best to follow who they really are.

The birds chirped me awake. The air, cool and damp, hung over me. A hint of sun shined in the east. Reaching for Henry, my hand fell flat against the blankets, his reassuring warmth absent. Rubbing my eyes, I focused on the trees above me, then squinted to see the rest of the world not yet spotlighted by sun. I didn’t see him. Sitting up, I quieted myself and listened for any sounds giving away Henry’s location. Nothing. I kept listening for several long minutes. I heard nothing and he didn’t return.  
“Henry.” I called out. No reply. Nervously, I shrugged clothes on and stepped into my boots.  
“Henry?” I said again. No reply.  
I headed toward the river. Unclear as to where he might be, I just started there. Squinting and stepping carefully, I worked my way down the embankment. A faint orange glow of fire caught my eye and finally, I saw Henry.  
“What the hell, man? Are you ok?” I asked approaching the rock where he sat. He startled and sat up straight. Quickly wiping his eyes, he said,  
“Sorry, Ramon. I didn’t mean to worry you.”  
“What are you doing down here?” I asked. Henry isn’t a crier.  
“I couldn’t sleep. I came down here to reconnect with the water and clear my head.”  
“Reconnect with the water? What does that mean?” I tried to understand this enigmatic man full of so many unknowns.  
“All my life, since leaving home, I’ve found comfort at the water. Whenever bad memories haunt me, whenever I mess up at work. Whenever something happens and I need to clear my head, I come to the water. Water is a constant. No matter how big the body, it always washes the bad shit away in the current or with the tide. The water cleanses me and frees me to let it all go and I feel clean again,” he explained.  
“Ok. So what are you washing away?” I questioned. He reached out for my hand and, kneeling in front of him, I took both his hands in mine.  
“When I realized I had to get away from home and I summoned the courage to do so, I remember wanting to be in a place I felt safe. I spent a lot of nights camping. My family taught me to camp. From the backyard to areas of desolate wilderness, I had a lot of experience. When I finally got away, I headed for cover and spent a few days just grounding myself and trying to make a plan for the future. I was close enough to return to Waco, if I needed to. But, in every minute and hour I spent in those woods, I knew I had to move forward, because going back wasn’t an option. Tucking my tail between my legs and walking back into that Hell was never going to happen. I didn’t care if I was homeless or cold or hungry. I was free and that’s what mattered to me. My life was mine. And that’s still true today.”  
“What happened to you?”  
“My parents are both alcoholics. When I was young, I could easily tell my parents didn’t really get along. We lived in a small rundown shack on my grandparents farm land. My parents would get drunk and fight and fuck in front of me. I slept on a pallet on the floor and kept my head turned to the wall most of the time. We used the bathroom outside and I cleaned up in a trough of water. Getting away to school was salvation for me. It wasn’t long that I made some friends and wanted to spend as much time with them as I could. One afternoon, my friend Cal came over to the farm. We were slingshotting rocks and playing in the barn. My grandparents raised cattle and pigs. At one point, I pecked Cal on the cheek and amongst a hay fort, we were caught in a game of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”.” My grandmother ushered us quickly out, gave us Coca-Colas, and we waited in the kitchen for Cal’s mom to come. After dinner, grandmother told my parents what I did. Dad swiftly punished me with the belt and I went to bed on my pallet with a burning ass and an aching heart. I felt betrayed by my family.”  
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry,” I responded.  
“My mom left when I was 10. As I can remember, she was running with men other than my dad. She came home pregnant and my dad put a hurting on her, too. She kissed me on the forehead waking me on the floor.”  
“I have to go away, baby,” she said.  
“With little more than a paper grocery sack, and all the money she could get from dad’s wallet, she slipped out the door past my passed out father. I’ve never seen her since.”  
“Oh my god, Henry. I had no idea,” I managed with complete surprise to the tale my lover told me.  
“The next 5 years continued as bad as the previous 10. Dad kept drinking. My grandpa passed away and dad and grandma tried to run the farm. They couldn’t keep up with all the work. I helped out without knowing a lot what to do. I didn’t want them to sell the animals for slaughter. I really took comfort in time at church and school. I didn’t love religion. But, any chance to get away from home was tempting. As I told you before, I use to catch spiders in a jar and fill the jar with water to watch them drown. My dad showed me how to do it. I felt a little bit of power being able to hurt someone rather than being hurt all the time by other people. I prayed about it at church. I spent time with several other boys in church programs. I knew early on that I enjoyed being around boys more than girls. My grandma wanted me to go to all the activities with the girls. I went only because I knew some boys would be there, too.”  
“I can relate. Not all science fairs are with boys interested in space and technology,” I chuckled.  
“Well, I had several opportunities to share curiosities with other boys on youth trips and overnight volunteer projects. One afternoon, out in back of the church, my grandmother caught me and my friend Chance kissing. I begged her not to tell my dad. I apologized and told her I wouldn’t do it again. That didn’t work. And so, I faced my father’s wrath once more. He tied my hands to his bed with a belt and sodomized me himself to teach me a lesson. I couldn’t sit down for a week. I bled through my clothes stuffed with towels for the first 2 days. I stayed away from school and kept a very low profile spending most of everyday in the barn. I’d sneak into the main house at night to steal food.”  
I offered no words, only tears running down my face. 

Nearly every interaction with dad afterward was physical. He knocked me around all the time just to “keep me in line” according to him. I was on my own on the farm and at school, but otherwise, never by myself. One afternoon, I came home from school and my grandmother invited me into the house saying she made cookies. Stupidly, I went. When I got inside, my dad and a hooker greeted me. My dad wanted me to prove I was a “real man” by screwing the hooker in front of him. Feeling weak and defeated, I saw no way out. I went with hooker into the living room where my grandmother joined us. The two of them sat and watched while the hooker undressed me. My skin crawled the entire time. I was 15-years old. I was so embarrassed as she kneeled in front of me and sucked my dick. Even if I was attracted to women, I couldn’t imagine getting hard that day. After what seemed like an eternity, she laid down on the couch and pulled me on top of her. I stuffed my dick in her hole and pumped away as best as I could for ten minutes. My dad, gripping a beer, of course, yelled directions at us from his seat. My dick never got hard. I moaned and groaned and did what I thought was normal. I faked an orgasm and after laying on top of her for 30 seconds, I peeled myself off her, pulled up my pants, and got the hell out of there without saying a word. I took my school books and found my way to a friend’s house. His family took me in and fed me dinner. They let me stay the night working on homework and falling fast asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom to wash the experience off of me. After school the next day, my dad met me in the yard, drunk and wielding a heavy duty piece of chain. He tried to hit me in the head with it but, I moved and instead, it cracked me right against the jaw. My skin split open and I instantly tasted blood. Beneath my beard, I still have a scar. He passed out in the shack. I climbed through the bathroom window at the back of grandma’s house. I took a towel to hold pressure against my face and stop the bleeding. I rummaged the cupboard and found some tape to hold the skin closed after the bleeding stopped and I stuffed my cheek with a small roll of gauze. I spit blood all night long until I fell asleep on a hay pile. My teacher sent me to the school nurse the next day. I was grateful for the kind attention she gave me. In class, I just kept my head down and tried my best to listen.

I went home after school and immediately found my way to the barn. Despite a splitting headache and a throbbing jaw, I sorted through the camping equipment we had. I didn’t want to stockpile anything, because they watched me all the time. I just took note of what we had and where it was. That weekend, I made my escape. I stole $48 from my grandmother’s coffee can, took a sleeping bag and tent and canteen, stuffed my backpack with a few clothes, and took a loaf of bread and some peanut butter and jam. I made my way in the dark and ran walked 12 miles before sunrise. I hid out for a few days thinking about what to do and where to go. I left behind the lowest points in my life and even though I had nothing but those few supplies, I realized true happiness a few days later.” 

Henry’s tears became sobs and he sunk to the ground in front of me. I held him tightly in my arms and together we cried. I wasn’t sure if he ever disclosed his past to anyone and I surely wasn’t prepared for what he told me. I instantly understood why Henry seemed so secretive. He’s so walled off inside. But, for the first time, I saw something new. Henry wasn’t homeless because he needed to be. He lived homeless because he related to other people like him and he felt more comfortable living simply off the land.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More tales from Henry’s past. Thanks for coming back to visit again.

“I love you, Henry.” I whispered in his ear. His sobs quieted some time earlier and now he just clung to me as we both sat in the mud holding each other. His tense form relaxed in my arms and I felt his head moving to look upward at me.   
“Thank you,” he whispered back. His face, red and swollen, drenched in salty tears. He looked deeply into my eyes and I wrapped his head with my arm for support. Still pulling him to me, I bent my lips toward his for the gentlest kiss. He’s so raw and fragile, I just wanted to hold him together so he didn’t fall completely apart.  
“Nothing you’ve explained changes my feelings for you,” I reassured. I thought it was important to show him through my actions and words he didn’t scare me away. This already brought us closer. I feel horrible for what’s he’s experienced.

We probably sat there for an hour. When we finally untangled from each other and moved to stand, the sun shone through the trees spreading welcome warmth and light on these previous cold, dark moments. Henry walked upstream to find a shallow pool. He took off his shirt and bent down to cup some of the cool water in his hands and splash it on his face. Then, he repeatedly splashed his body and finally dried himself with his discarded shirt. I followed his lead pulling my hair out of my face before splashing away next to him. Both renewed, we stood and looked at each other.   
“I need coffee,” Henry stated. He reached for my hand and we started back up the steep hill to the clearing and our camp. Henry quickly changed into warmer, clean clothes. I set out a few things to make breakfast. As he heated the water, I changed. 

We sat quietly, but closely, on the tailgate of the truck sipping coffee and eating oatmeal. The warm food and drink comforted us from the inside out.   
“Let’s spend the day exploring,” Henry suggested.  
“You lead, I’ll follow,” I replied. We packed away all the gear and supplies we weren’t using and locked the truck. With water bottles and a small pack, we padded off back down the steep incline to the water’s edge. Following the current, we walked along the pebble shoreline and when it dropped off, we climbed, holding limbs and steadying each other on a loose, and sometimes treacherous, path. Henry never backed down. He guided each step and would go first, only to turn and call out the steps and route I should follow. We skipped rocks across the water’s surface and admired birds. Henry took a few minutes to whittle a branch into a sharp point and tried to catch a fish. We snacked on trail mix and kept hydrated with water, occasionally relieving ourselves during nature breaks. 

We found a trail and for a bit, started walking next to each other. My curiosity growing inside me, I tested Henry’s interest in talking some more.  
“How did you get to Portland?”  
“In my truck,” he answered.  
“No, I mean, what made you come to Portland?” I asked again.  
“I knew what you meant, Ramon.” Henry chuckled. “I was out on the coast for a few years before I settled here. I ran a coffee and snack shack in a tourist trap at Devil’s Punchbowl in Otter Rock. Everyday, I hooked the trailer up to my truck and drove to my spot. At the end of the day, I’d pack up and head back into town. The trailer rested in my boss’ driveway where she’d restock it each night. It was an easy job, never made me think too hard. I met lots of different kinds of people. It’s a real bohemian lifestyle there. I lived in a shed on her property. Rent there is crazy even for small places. But, since the weather unkind to sleeping outside, I had to find some accommodations. I’d wash up outside or go inside for a shower. Sometimes she’d make dinner for me. I stayed for four years. There was lots of time to think. I’d sit back in the trailer and watch the waves roll in and angrily crash against the rocks there. The lush greenery hung overhead like a jungle canopy. It rained more frequently than it didn’t. I got dripped on daily, as I remember it. Everything felt moldy and damp with the grotesque moisture in the air. I loved it in the beginning, the sound is so relaxing. But, several years in, I needed more sun.  
In the evenings, I’d hang out with some of the fisherman and other laborers from around the bay. I liked watching the seals hanging out and playing around there. There was always a couch to crash on when I didn’t make it back to my shed. It’s really beautiful scenery. There’s a hub of activity there, too, with students, tourists, and workers. You hear a lot of stories.”  
“I remember spending some time there during summers. There’s an aquarium, right? Kristen tried to climb into the octopus exhibit once. We ate at several of the fish houses along that strip,” I shared.  
I arrived on the coast after meandering and camping in the Redwoods for six months. The majesty of the forest is breathtaking. If you listen closely enough, I’m convinced you can hear the trees reaching taller toward the sky. I never thought I’d see such nature with my own eyes. I ran low on money and needed to keep moving. My eyes looked north and I drove until I stopped.”  
“Why would your drive any further?” I quipped. “Where were you before the Redwoods?” I queried.  
“I lived in San Jose for a couple years. Who would imagine with all the cash in Silicon Valley, the proliferation of homeless? I may not know anything about technology, without my time there, I wouldn’t even own a smart phone. Some of the older guys I met taught me so much. Some of them helped design the software. There’s also a rampant drug problem in the community and unfortunately, these guys fell victim. I packed up and moved on because of a bad hepatitis issue spreading throughout the county. A lot of my friends were dying and I just couldn’t watch it anymore.  
I actually zigzagged a little through California. I stayed in Oakland for a little bit and worked at the stadium as a vendor schlepping up and down the stairs during games peddling popcorn and sodas. It was ok. I kept a low profile and watched a bunch of games. After that I traveled up to Napa and worked at a vineyard for a bit. I never saw grapes treated better than people before. I didn’t last long. Earlier on, I worked at a laundry in Ojai. I know, you must think I worked a bunch of bullshit jobs. I just really like jobs that don’t make me a focus where I can float under the radar with very little responsibility and where I won’t be stressed out. I came from stressful beginnings. I’m trying to live stress-free the rest of my life. I’m tired of talking for right now. Besides, look.” Henry pointed out our arrival at the waterfall where we first spent time. It’s a sumptuous view that deserves only undivided attention. We spent a while looking and listening and playing there. The cool mist washed away the heavy residue of the morning layered on to both of us. 

On the way back to our camp, Henry, smiling now, explained a little more about his trek through California. I learned his other steady relationship took place when he was banging around San Diego. SD, a rich, clean, well-curated city frowned against homeless people. Bad for business. His truck stuck out like a sore thumb there. The guy he dated, Mr. “I don’t know what I really want”, lived in SD. Henry would drive up there from a more labor-loving town, Chula Vista. He enjoyed some beach time but when the guy waffled on his future, Henry wrapped up a job at a garden center where he hated lifting heavy supplies anyway, drove to the coastal highway, and never looked back.


	14. Chapter 14

I washed up the dinner dishes on the bank and made my way back up the hill where Henry laid out our bedding in the back of the truck. As we settled in for the night, I lit a joint. We stretched out initially before coming back to each other becoming progressively more entwined. Henry had more stories to tell. I listened willingly.

 

“I made my way in the dark to a wooded area at Lake Waco. It wasn’t yet summer but, it was warm with summer just around the corner. I set up my sparse camp in the distance so I wouldn’t have to talk with anyone. Enduring the first 2 weeks, I suffered through shock. I spent all the hours of the day replaying my life from the earliest times I remembered until the day before that day. It was almost like I died, more so than them. My whole life changed. I didn’t know from one moment to the next what I was going to do, where I was going to be. There was no future. I barely had a present. I wanted to forget everything about my past. Days passed like minutes. I lost time like dementia. Some days, I just tried to sleep it all away. After a few weeks, I started to feel a little safer. After all, I wasn’t a criminal. I was just a runaway. A runaway who desperately wanted to not be found. The more hidden I stayed, I didn’t have to lie or interact with anyone. Over time, I knew I needed to pull myself together and make a plan if only for the shortest foreseeable future. Thankfully, no one came looking for me. 

Two weeks in, my pb&j and bread was long gone. I walked to a little store on the edge of the lake. They sold everything from snacks and drinks to fuel and bait. Real, southern one-stop shopping. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much sustenance. I’m not proud but, at times, I resorted to sneaking into the campground and scrounging for food like a wild animal. Most days, I collected a meager haul. I didn’t need much since my belly filled fast. Over time, I began engaging with some of the visitors. Before long, they started inviting me to eat with them. I started accepting invitations. Hunger is a big motivator. Many of the parties I joined included alcohol. I knew I didn’t want any part of that. I’d give my thanks, excuse myself, and retreat back to my own camp. As I felt stronger in myself, I moved camp down through the woods along the banks of the connected lake system. It didn’t take me long to develop an outward persona stronger than my inward persona. I connected with people and found a way through the next few months. Everyday, I got stronger and my days got brighter. My first job was on the ranch of a family I met camping that summer. I wasn’t the greatest ranch hand. I just didn’t care for the work. The family, nice as they could be, tried everything to help me out. On Halloween, they hosted a town party at the ranch. Again, I escaped. This time under a lot less duress. I just didn’t fit in there.

I hitchhiked to Killeen, TX and found myself at another general store. I summoned my courage one day and went in. Then, I asked if they needed some help. Before I knew it, I was helping out in behind the counter and out back five hours four days each week. I spent other time exploring, swimming, and engaging with lovers of the outdoors. But, as hunting season matured, I questioned my safety. Even suspended in a tree with a hammock, I knew a stray bullet would end me. I didn’t spend those first few months after the escape surviving only to take a buck shot to the face and breathe my final breaths out of my gaping cheek. I packed up and moved on. 

Continuously, I honed my charm and communication skills. I found rides in campers and in the back of pickup trucks. I smiled, nodded, and engaged in little bits of conversation. Most of the people I met talked my ear off. I didn’t care though since anytime they talked was less silence for me to fill. Before long, I found myself doing dishes and cleaning up in an El Paso luncheonette. Many of the ladies in town wanted me to join them at church and meet their daughters. I wanted no parts of either. On Sundays, I made sure to hide far away from the townspeople. I found a little swimming hole and spent my days exploring and dreaming about this vast country. 

I worked my way to the edge of Texas. I marked the one year anniversary of my freedom by plotting my next move. I met some experienced rail travelers and they gave me tips on genuine hobo living. With $2200 in my pocket, one night I left my outdoor den and navigated a freight train yard. Easily, I found an empty boxcar to hop. Finding my way to the ladder, I hid on the roof waiting a while for it to journey off. I heard a few workers in the distance getting it travel ready. No one ever stumbled on me above or inside. We went west and then turned north. I could tell basic direction just from observing the rise and set of the sun. 

After two days, we arrived in Albuquerque. In need of fresh water and trying to conceal my passage, I detrained and went off running through the flat and rocky terrain. There are highways and many underpasses in ABQ. Within minutes I found a suitable refuge at the top of the underside of the bridge. At night, I’d come down and get a lay of the land. I found an all-night diner and went in for some coffee toward midnight. I never suffered insomnia caused by caffeine. The short order cook working third shift liked to trip on mushrooms and acid. Not at the same time. I started talking to him from my stool at the counter the first night I arrived. Seven months later, I soaked up hundreds of hours of his philosophy and storytelling. He’s the first person to remind me when you live off the land, nothing ever changes. As we move through life, we’re just savages looking to exist through the next day. We use what nature provides and find a way to sustain. 

The beauty in Albuquerque far exceeded anything I imagined. Nature’s rainbow of colors, lunar-like shapes, and wild swings in weather, sometimes in the same day, delighted and inspired me. My cooking friend, Randall Smalltooth, watched me come and go and seemed to catch on pretty quickly I had little means. I found work at a car wash frequently interrupted by broken down equipment. During the day, I planted myself at the public library and started reading. First, I indulged in magazines like National Geographic. The librarian brought crates of back issues and I thumbed through them for hours. I found a quiet corner and just consumed all I could. As a dropout, I created my own lessons and learned about things I really found interesting. 

One day, the librarian sat with me and started asking questions. Although a year on the road weathered me, nobody mistook me for eighteen years old. I stayed away for two weeks after the inquisition. Still, when I returned, the librarian called a truant officer and he wanted to contact my parents. Before we left the library to go to the station, I asked to use the bathroom. When they agreed, I went inside and slipped out the window. While they waited for me to finish and come out, I ran like hell back to my bridge. I gathered up all my stuff and started walking north. The highway stretched out before me as a tempting guide but, I stuck out like a flashing light. I trailed off back to the rail tracks. I didn’t want to wait until night fall to claim a boxcar again. So, I padded off hugging the tracks as I went. My initial quick pace slowed to a meander. If I saw an interesting rock formation, I stopped to appreciate it. A few times, I came on homes in the baron land sequestered by miles of nothing. I passed through beautiful Santa Fe and eventually met other loners and Native people. They kindly took me in and provided food and warmth protecting me from the cold nights in the mountains. Dylan, the son of a single mother, both living in a trailer in the mountains, came into my life unexpectedly and just in time. We became friends and family alike while pursuing his dreams and my experiences.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adult situations lie ahead.

We lay in each other’s arms and I struggled to absorb the magnitude of the life lived by the man I call my lover. So many places and situations he’s experienced. He’s so strong and resilient. The years on the road, traveling by rail and foot, from the mountains to the desert, and back would’ve broken lesser men. Not Henry. My mind drifts back to the first days we encountered each other at Spin. He always smiled. He fooled with coworkers and laughed for all to hear. 

I’ve slept next to him. He doesn’t have nightmares or strange habits in the night. He’s stable and kind and caring beyond anyone I’ve let into my weird world. I’m the one with sweats, hallucinations, and night terrors. 

At some point, my mind drifted as he told the tale. I didn’t want to hear anymore. His story made me so sad. In the most vulnerable time in his life, his family betrayed him. I can’t understand people not protecting him. My family infuriates me so frequently and yet, from the moment I met them, they rescued me. I’m smothered with love. I want the same for Henry. I want my family to be his family. I want him to know love and security. 

I committed to myself for every day as we move forward, my actions would patina the memories and pain of Henry’s upbringing. He deserves better than how he started. As he talked to me, I understood why he feels so at home in nature and in a tent. For Henry, being homeless wasn’t about not being able to afford housing. It was about him living comfortably immersed in a life he created amongst street friends and brethren. His house was the sky and trees and a cold, hard ground. There were no rules, yet Henry found a way into a routine. Guided by the sins and vices of his parents, Henry avoided use of substances and alcohol. He gave his money to friends in need. His refined savage existence intersected with the hundreds of people he met in the last decade plus. His life tapestry held together by the stories and experiences of all. 

When I look deeply into his eyes, I can’t see the pain tightly locked beneath the surface. But, now I know it exists and I want Henry to keep moving forward and find peace with the man he is now. He’s got a lot to be proud of, so many pitfalls avoided. And, he keeps me grounded by taking life more seriously without becoming distracted by games and excess and frills of privilege. 

He talked until the sun rose. Stiffly, we pulled ourselves off one another and he started a fire for coffee. We threw on some clothes, cleaned up camp, and doused the fire with all the water needed to render it powerless. I suggested, and he agreed, we leave the woods and go back home. 

“I hope to spend more time in nature with you in the future. But, right now, the words of your history linger in the trees like a heavy smog, choking and stifling the beauty out of this serenity. After your story dissipates up and out of this majestic canopy, we can come back and enjoy it for what it is,” I confessed.

We drove west back into town. When we arrived at the apartment, Henry started to unpack the truck.

“Just leave it all,” I said. “Later on, we’ll take it to my parents house and we can wash everything. My parents won’t care.” I begged him. I took his hand in mine and we walked together upstairs. I unlocked the door and led him inside. Standing in the middle of the floor, appropriate words to summarize the trip, the tales, and my feelings for Henry escaped me. 

“I love you,” I professed but it just didn’t convey the breadth and depth of my attachment and caring. I thought Henry would be weakened, unsure, and unsteady. He wasn’t. As I looked at him, I saw the same guy I fell in love with over flirty conversation and black coffee at Spin whenever I stopped in before and after school. He’s in a class all his own and this is no ordinary love. 

“Ramon, what I feel for you grows, deepens, everyday. You’re changing me and challenging me to be better. I want what you give me and I’m scared shitless of it simultaneously. People who live a life like mine never get rewarded. But, normal life is a reward and I want to share with you”, Henry explained.

“I want to build normal with you,” I whispered as I walked immediately into his personal space and centered my hands on his cheeks. I puckered and kissed Henry so gently looking for a sign not to proceed. I wanted to wrap him in my love from the inside out. I pulled him slowly on to my bed and knelt before him to remove his clothes and mine. Never one for rocket sex, I paid excruciating attention to every inch of Henry’s body. I kissed and caressed up and down his arms and legs. I didn’t tease, instead savoring him as I straddled his hips and kissed down his tight abs. We sat entwined so I could hug and kiss him while rubbing his back. His cock, rock hard with anticipation, easily slid through my lips and down my throat. I massaged his balls while I slurped away along his length. No rush, every part of Henry received languorous attention. My only agenda to pleasure him. I laid down with him so I could tend to his ass. My tongue, softly but deftly, licked his tight ass eventually probing inside to his hastened breathing and muted coos. The minutes blurred together and neither of us cared about the clock as we spent hours making love. I raised up and kissed Henry before parting his knees back, slipping on a condom, and sliding into him. It felt so good for both of us, I pulled out repeatedly only to slide all the way back inside. From missionary, to spooning, and then doggy-style, I worked Henry over touching all of his pleasure centers. I rubbed his chest, traced his abs, and sucked on his nipples. I nibbled at his muscular arms and breathed in his masculine scent. I tucked my head in crook of his arm and at the nape of his neck to get as close to him as I could. When he finally came, he was riding me and his load shot all over my chest and ran down the sides of my belly. He collapsed on top of me and soon, we succumbed to sleep for the rest of the afternoon. 

For the next few days, we spent all our days and nights together, so together our bodies barely separated. If we weren’t laying next to each other, we held hands, or his feet rested on my lap, or the front of my body welcomely infringed on the back of his as we stood in the shower or in the kitchen or in the bathroom. We were building an amazing love and gave no one outside the apartment a chance to shudder the foundation.


	16. Chapter 16

The day after we returned home, I turned my phone on to see what I missed while gone. Not surprisingly, eighteen text messages and seven phone calls greeted me. Though from a mixture of family, mom stood out as the main culprit of contact. I breezed through with no more than a scan of most of them. My family’s “worry” and “concern” were welcome and misguided jointly.   
“Mom, I’m back, in one piece and doing fine. I’d like to talk to you and dad tomorrow morning. Let me know when the best time is.” I texted.  
Her immediate reply, “Sweetheart, I’m so glad you’ve reached out. Is everything ok?We’ll see you here at 10a. Uber if the weather is bad.”

“Henry, I’m going to see my parents tomorrow when you go to work,” I relayed to him.  
“Ok, man. Sounds good,” he answered. “Feel free to stop by if you’re in the area.” He walked toward the bathroom and planted a firm kiss on my lips on the way by. Soon, I heard the shower turn on.

The next morning, I woke to the same scenario. Henry getting in the shower and getting ready for work. I rose quickly and left my shorts on the floor as I sauntered to the bathroom and joined him in the shower.   
“Ah!” He shrieked. “Your hands are cold,” he protested as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him tightly to me. I kissed his neck and warmed my arms with his heat and that of water streaming on to us. My left arms cupped his pecs and fondled his nipple as my right hand found his soft penis. He turned to me and allowed me to continue my embrace and kiss him despite our morning breath. We tangled tongues as my hand encircled and tugged on his budding morning wood. Ten minutes later, we emerged from the shower, dripping and energized to face the day, together despite our separation over the coming hours. He left for Spin and I fired up my technology to look at The Realms for a while before I had to leave. 

The four and a half miles to my parents house flew by as I wasn’t met by much resistance in traffic of weather. Once inside, I found my nervous mother preparing a breakfast table while my dad perused the newspaper. I peeled my mother off of me while she held me in a longer than necessary greeting.   
“Hello, son. We’re glad to see you,” Dad said as he approached for a quick hug.  
“I’m glad to see you, too.” I replied.  
“Why don’t you fill a plate and then we get sit and talk. Coffee?” Mom suggested.  
“Ok, I can do that,” I reached for a plate.

“We’re so very glad to see you, Ramon” Mom said as we finally sat down.   
“I’m glad to see you, too. But, I was only gone for a few days and, as you can see, I’m fine,” I reminded.  
“Well, it was just so sudden. You taking off for days like you were on the run. We are very concerned about your mental fitness and we didn’t know if you were suffering a break of some sort. Then, we couldn’t reach you. We had no idea when you’d be back. We worry, you know,” she proclaimed.  
“I know you worry and I appreciate that you do. Just know, every situation is not a time for worry,” I assured.  
“Are you seeing Dr. Shokrani again?” Dad asked.  
“Not yet,” I explained, wiping my mouth. “I’m going to call his office today and make an appointment. He’s been acting a little crazy. I hope he’s settled down.”  
“Do you want us to go with you, Ramon?” Mom suggested.  
“No, I’ll be fine. I’m feeling pretty good these last few weeks and I haven’t had any hallucinations or bad dreams lately,” I advised.  
“So, why did you run off?” Mom asked.  
“I needed some uninterrupted time with Henry. We had a long time to talk. I understand him a lot better now than I did before. He’s really a good guy. When we broke up, I judged him and misunderstood a lot of information about him. I didn’t really give him a chance to explain and he was too sheepish to try. We’re past that now. He brought my bicycle back to me and we’ve reconnected. We have strong feelings for each other and we’ve decided we want to give our relationship another try,” I explained.  
“Ramon, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. He seems motivated by the wrong things. He was freeloading off of you before and...” she protested.  
“Mom, you loved him when you first met him. You’re the one who teaches us to see the good in all people, from all backgrounds, with all measures of experiences. Henry is very different from us. He’s struggled more than you can imagine. But, he’s genuine. We’ve been able to find that true connection and open up to each other. He didn’t target me just to freeload off of me and my apartment. His goals are untraditional and we all need to show some compassion and understanding. He’s important to me and I want to do what I’m committed to making this work,” I justified.  
“I think we should have him over for dinner,” Dad invited.  
“I was thinking the same thing. Mom, can you rally all the family together for dinner here this week?” I asked.  
“Anything for you, my sweet boy. I’m just glad to see you happy and home.” She smiled.  
“I am really happy. I want you to see how happy Henry makes me and how great of a man he is. I want him to be part of our family,” I confirmed.  
“I’ll talk with your siblings and let you know. I’m thinking Saturday,” she planned.  
“Sounds great. I can’t wait.”


	17. Chapter 17

The day after we returned home, I turned my phone on to see what I missed while gone. Not surprisingly, eighteen text messages and seven phone calls greeted me. Though from a mixture of family, mom stood out as the main culprit of contact. I breezed through with no more than a scan of most of them. My family’s “worry” and “concern” were welcome and misguided jointly.  
“Mom, I’m back, in one piece and doing fine. I’d like to talk to you and dad tomorrow morning. Let me know when the best time is.” I texted.  
Her immediate reply, “Sweetheart, I’m so glad you’ve reached out. Is everything ok?We’ll see you here at 10a. Uber if the weather is bad.”

“Henry, I’m going to see my parents tomorrow when you go to work,” I relayed to him.  
“Ok, man. Sounds good,” he answered. “Feel free to stop by if you’re in the area.” He walked toward the bathroom and planted a firm kiss on my lips on the way by. Soon, I heard the shower turn on.

The next morning, I woke to the same scenario. Henry getting in the shower and getting ready for work. I rose quickly and left my shorts on the floor as I sauntered to the bathroom and joined him in the shower.  
“Ah!” He shrieked. “Your hands are cold,” he protested as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him tightly to me. I kissed his neck and warmed my arms with his heat and that of water streaming on to us. My left arms cupped his pecs and fondled his nipple as my right hand found his soft penis. He turned to me and allowed me to continue my embrace and kiss him despite our morning breath. We tangled tongues as my hand encircled and tugged on his budding morning wood. Ten minutes later, we emerged from the shower, dripping and energized to face the day, together despite our separation over the coming hours. He left for Spin and I fired up my technology to look at The Realms for a while before I had to leave. 

The four and a half miles to my parents house flew by as I wasn’t met by much resistance in traffic of weather. Once inside, I found my nervous mother preparing a breakfast table while my dad perused the newspaper. I peeled my mother off of me while she held me in a longer than necessary greeting.  
“Hello, son. We’re glad to see you,” Dad said as he approached for a quick hug.  
“I’m glad to see you, too.” I replied.  
“Why don’t you fill a plate and then we get sit and talk. Coffee?” Mom suggested.  
“Ok, I can do that,” I reached for a plate.

“We’re so very glad to see you, Ramon” Mom said as we finally sat down.  
“I’m glad to see you, too. But, I was only gone for a few days and, as you can see, I’m fine,” I reminded.  
“Well, it was just so sudden. You taking off for days like you were on the run. We are very concerned about your mental fitness and we didn’t know if you were suffering a break of some sort. Then, we couldn’t reach you. We had no idea when you’d be back. We worry, you know,” she proclaimed.  
“I know you worry and I appreciate that you do. Just know, every situation is not a time for worry,” I assured.  
“Are you seeing Dr. Shokrani again?” Dad asked.  
“Not yet,” I explained, wiping my mouth. “I’m going to call his office today and make an appointment. He’s been acting a little crazy. I hope he’s settled down.”  
“Do you want us to go with you, Ramon?” Mom suggested.  
“No, I’ll be fine. I’m feeling pretty good these last few weeks and I haven’t had any hallucinations or bad dreams lately,” I advised.  
“So, why did you run off?” Mom asked.  
“I needed some uninterrupted time with Henry. We had a long time to talk. I understand him a lot better now than I did before. He’s really a good guy. When we broke up, I judged him and misunderstood a lot of information about him. I didn’t really give him a chance to explain and he was too sheepish to try. We’re past that now. He brought my bicycle back to me and we’ve reconnected. We have strong feelings for each other and we’ve decided we want to give our relationship another try,” I explained.  
“Ramon, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. He seems motivated by the wrong things. He was freeloading off of you before and...” she protested.  
“Mom, you loved him when you first met him. You’re the one who teaches us to see the good in all people, from all backgrounds, with all measures of experiences. Henry is very different from us. He’s struggled more than you can imagine. But, he’s genuine. We’ve been able to find that true connection and open up to each other. He didn’t target me just to freeload off of me and my apartment. His goals are untraditional and we all need to show some compassion and understanding. He’s important to me and I want to do what...I’m committed to making this work,” I justified.  
“I think we should have him over for dinner,” Dad invited.  
“I was thinking the same thing. Mom, can you rally all the family together for dinner here this week?” I asked.  
“Anything for you, my sweet boy. I’m just glad to see you happy and home.” She smiled.  
“I am really happy. I want you to see how happy Henry makes me and how great of a man he is. I want him to be part of our family,” I confirmed.  
“I’ll talk with your siblings and let you know. I’m thinking Saturday,” she planned.  
“Sounds great. I can’t wait.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around to continue this story with me. I’m sorry for the long absence in uploading. I’ve been very busy and on vacation but Ramon’s and Henry’s story continues to live inside me and I’ll keep putting it down until I have no tale left to tell.

“I’m not sure why you think you need to wear a tie,” I state.  
“Look, I’m just trying to get them on my side. I know I fucked up before and they don’t trust me. It’s not like the party when Audrey pulled me aside and cuddled up on the sofa to learn all about me. I’ve hurt you and, by extension, them. I’m working to repair all of the broken fences I’ve created,” he reassured me as he smoothed the tie down his chest. He looked really handsome in the tie. I’m glad he decided to dress up a little. I put on a nice shirt, too. His look of a skinny black tie and white shirt with black pants, his boots, and his jacket really turned me on.  
“This is why I first noticed you,” I recounted. “You’re so handsome with only minimal effort. Your style is so easy.”  
“That’s Portland,” he answered. “Nothing is very difficult here.”  
He snaked an arm around my waist and pulled us hip to hip. We rested our foreheads together. “It’s going to be ok. They love me and I love you and they’ll love you,” I confirmed.  
“I’m not too worried. If I fixed it with you, I’m sure I can fix it with them, too,” he said quietly in my face. A quick kiss and we headed out the door. Henry opened the truck door for me and when he walked to his side to climb in, I leaned to unlock it. He opened his arm across the backrest of the seat and I moved closer to him. With the engine started, I rested my head on his shoulder and off we went.   
When we pulled up outside of Casa de Bayer-Boatwright, I didn’t move from where I sat since we left the apartment.   
“Thank you for doing this,” I whispered.  
“No problem. I like your family, Ramon. I want them to like me. I know they are an extension of you and since I’m planning on being with you, I might as well make things right with them,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I want us all to get along. I don’t want conflict. I really like the mellow vibe I got from them before and I hope it feels like that again tonight.” I leaned in and kissed his heart through his clothes. He lifted my chin to his face and laid a deep, passionate kiss on me. I was glad to be sitting.   
“I’ll make good on that later tonight,” he promised as he opened the door and pulled me along as he exited.   
We held hands and I stuck close to him, breathing deeply as we climbed the stairs to the door. The doorbell barely sang it’s tune when my mother threw open the door with a “whoosh.” The vacuum nearly sucked us inside.  
“Well, it’s about time!” Mom exclaimed as her petite form grasped her arms around my neck.   
“It’s only been a few days, Mom,” I struggled to escape her clutches.  
“I know but I missed you terribly each of those days. I was worried,” she proclaimed.  
“Of course you were,” I said with a smile. There was an awkward pause as she stopped talking to me and didn’t start talking to Henry.   
“Audrey?” Henry said with his warm smile and outstretched arms. She hugged him quickly saying, “this is going to take some time.”  
“I know. I’m very appreciative of the invitation for tonight and the chance to make amends with your family,” Henry conveyed.  
We moved into the living room and Henry took his jacket off. I hung it in the hall closet. Kristen came flitting down the staircase and jumped into my arms. “Rahm!” She cried out. I put her down and she immediately started talking about three different subjects. It’s so hard to keep up with her sometimes. She pulled me over to a quiet corner of the couch and started talking about all the interaction I missed with Mom and Dad over the last few days. Henry stood around, waiting, looking at family mementos. He seemed genuinely relieved when Ash and Malcolm came through the door.   
“Hey, buddy,” Malcolm said extending his hand. “Glad to see we’re doing this again,” he said with a circular gesture of his hands.  
“Oh..yeah..him,” Henry replied pointing in my direction with a sheepish smile. Mom came into the room and greeted Ash and Malcolm, then she asked Kristen to join her in the kitchen for last minute preparations. Malcolm and Henry continued talking. Ashley came over and hugged me.   
“Where’s Daddy?” She asked.  
“No idea. We’ve only been here a few minutes and I haven’t seen him,” I replied.  
“Mom, where’s Daddy?” Ashley asked.  
“Probably sulking in his office,” she called back.  
“I’m going to find him,” Ashley declared and left us boys in the living room.  
“So, I heard you guys were doing some camping,” Malcolm started.  
“Yes, we just took off spontaneously and spent a few days on the outskirts of Tualatin. I love the outdoors,” he replied.  
“That’s great! We should all go some time. You, Ramon, me, and Duc for a boys’ weekend. Duc and I enjoy competitive mountain biking and we can’t get back to nature nearly enough,” Malcolm explained excitedly.  
“I’m sure Henry can teach you guys a thing or two about being out in the wild,” I predicted.  
“Speak of the devil,” Malcolm gestured toward the door. Duc and Carmen made their way inside. Sweetly, he took her coat and hung it in the closet next to Henry’s. Their body language is much different this time than the first time we all hung out at Ash’s and Malcolm’s for dinner. They came into the room and he shook everyone’s hand, Duc-style.   
“So formal,” Carmen critiqued with a smile. Just then, Ashley returned to the living room with Dad. Duc asked Carmen what she wanted to drink and escaped to the kitchen.   
“Still tense between those two, huh?” I asked.  
Malcolm leaned in, “they’ve been avoiding each other,” he said in a whisper.  
Dad towered over all of us as we were now sitting. Carmen sat in a chair and Ashley sat on the coffee table in front of us.   
“Is there anything you’d like to tell us before we all sit down to a dinner that’s awkward as hell with Mom?” Ashley provoked. Dad found a seat.  
“No.” Long pause as Dad gathered his thoughts. “Just know that we are trying to bring things back together,” he said.  
“There’s a lot of healing happening in this family,” Henry mentioned.  
Duc returned with a glass of wine for him and Carmen and Mom came to the door.   
“Dinner is ready. We can all move into the dining room,” she directed.  
Herding into the dining room, we started to gather around the table.   
“Sit next to me, Rahm,” Kristen called out bopping around on her seat and patting the chair next to hers. Mom kept the expansion in the table. It’s not unusual for her to have a large party at dinner lately with the family coming over frequently. Dad and Mom took the ends of the table. Kristen, me, and Henry on one side. Ashley, Malcolm, Duc, and Carmen on the other side. It was less of a firing squad this time then the first time we at together. Still, Mom and Duc were critical and suspicious of Henry. Kristen and Ashley talked as we started passing all the dishes around and filling our plates. Henry poured wine in my glass and I realized there was no water on the table. I quietly got up, went to the kitchen, and retrieved a glass of water for him.   
“I’m sorry, Henry. I forgot you don’t drink wine,” Mom said.  
“It’s ok Audrey. I’m good with water. Thanks, Ramon.” He replied.  
As everyone finished passing the dishes a strained silence fell over the room. We each took a few bites and then, to my surprise, Henry took a drink and cleared his throat.  
“Ok, I guess I’ll start,” he wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I just want to thank everyone for being here today. To Audrey and Greg, thank you for opening your warm home to us and preparing this awesome meal. I know you all know that Ramon and I are back together after a rocky few months. I know that each of you cares for him very deeply. It’s not hard to tell that family is very important to Ramon, too. As we have worked to heal our relationship and understand our differences, Ramon has accepted me back into his life. For that, I’m grateful. I hope each of you will give me a chance to repair relations and build again. If I wasn’t serious about my feelings and commitment to him, I wouldn’t be here,” Henry stated.  
“Thank you, Henry. We don’t know what all transpired between you two. We are concerned about Ramon’s ongoing physical and mental health. We want only the best for all of our children. But, we see how affected Ramon is with you in his life. He’s very happy and we can’t deny that,” Dad answered.  
“Are you going to keep living off him?” Duc questioned.  
“Duc! What the hell, man? That’s not your business,” I scolded. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. You have no idea what’s going on.”  
“Duc, I don’t think it’s appropriate to pry into Ramon’s life like that unless he asks you for advice,” Dad explained.  
“You’re so indignant to something you don’t even understand,” I fumed.  
“Why don’t we all calm down. Duc, you wouldn’t enjoy Ramon questioning every detail of your personal life. How about if we let everyone just try to find their own way with the idea that each of us is here as a support network for each other. We are all willing to help with talking and advice as needed. All you have to do is ask. I don’t think it’s right to push opinions and unsolicited suggestions on to each other. That isn’t advantageous,” offered Mom.  
Carmen worked to calm Duc talking quietly. Malcolm and Ashley looked fondly at each other. I put my arm around Henry and rubbed his back and in turn, he put his hand on my leg and squeeze it reassuringly.  
We did find a way to move forward in that dinner as Ashley talked about her business venture, Carmen talked about her interest in study, and Duc talked about his book. I shared a little of my success with Realms and the video game company support of its development. We left the table after many courses, including dessert, and very full bellies resorting to our separate corners of the house deep in various conversations. I saw Henry and my dad talking for a long time. As the house clock struck ten, Ashley and Malcolm started to break away first saying they had to relieve the babysitter.   
“Kiss and hug Haley for me,” I tell them as they make their way to the kitchen to say goodbye to mom.   
“We should probably get going,” I say to Henry.   
“Oh, yeah?” Henry replies surprised as he’s having such a good time engaging with my dad.  
“Yeah, I have something I want to show you there,” I reply with a smile. Mom follows Ashley and Malcolm back into the living room. I get Henry’s jacket from the closet and hand it to him.   
“Here, I’m giving you some leftovers,” she hands them to me. “I’m very glad to have you in my home, Henry,” she confesses and offers him a big hug. “We all make mistakes in life. You’re here trying to fix them and improve upon your history. I can see that.”  
“Thank you, Audrey.” Dad wraps an arm around Henry’s shoulders and gives him a warm squeeze.   
“Everyone deserves second chances,” he says looking at mom.  
I give mom and dad an enthusiastic hug and say bye to everyone from the door as Henry has a last word with my dad. Stepping down to the truck, Henry opens the door and again I unlock his side. We sit separately from each other on the drive home so the leftovers don’t spill.   
“Worked out pretty good, eh?” I asked for his take on the tone of the evening.  
“Yes, it was fine. I hope they believe me. I think they do since your mom reassured me before we left,” he confirmed.   
“She’s the one you have to convince. I think everyone else is on board. Duc is being an ass but, unfortunately, that’s just him. He’ll get over himself.”  
We quickly arrived home and Henry wrapped his arms around me as we climbed the stairs to the door. I fumbled to unlock it as he kissed my neck and once inside I shrugged him off to put the food in the fridge. After that, we came together like magnets and as good as he looked in his clothes, he looked even better naked with them heaped on the floor around him. After a gritty and sweaty interlude, we fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.   
I woke as the sun started peaking through the window at 0630. We began the next day of our lives together.


End file.
